Legacy Leadership

Six Significant Conversations

2012-01-05T00:01:00.014-06:00

A brief conversation.

One sentence in the middle of a broader conversation.

Yet, for some reason that comment stuck with you. It may have even changed the entire direction of your life.

Or, your eternal destiny.

I have been thinking about the most significant conversations I have had thus far in my life. Here are six:

Guy Owen February 1973: I attended a YoungLife meeting in February of 1973. My motive for attending was to see a girl I was interested in. So interested that I was willing to attend a "religious" event like YoungLife. What a surprise! Entertaining, upbeat, and fun. And a very clear presentation of the gospel. I realized that like all people I was a sinner, separated from God, and that no amount of good works could reconcile me to God. But Guy shared the good news with me that Christ had paid the penalty for me and that I simply needed to receive the free gift of salvation by inviting Jesus into my life.

Laura Marsh, June 15, 1973: For a couple of years I had been hearing about a girl that went to Lamar High School who was "crazy about me." Well, I finally met her after one of our baseball games. June 15, 1973 to be exact. We began "going steady" and had to rely on our parents (and Laura's sister Ellen) to shuttle us because we were both still in Driver's Ed with learning permits only.

By the way, 1973 was very good year!

Coach Howington, 1977-78ish: Sometime during my college years I was trying to decide whether to go to Law School or to become a teacher. Coach Howington had a one question response: "Where can you best serve the Lord?"

Lee Van Zant, 1978 (Professor of Economics at Austin College): I had gone to summer school every summer after my freshman year at Austin College. I had enough credits to graduate early, but was considering staying for one more semester to take some additional courses. Lee told me, "J.Lee I think you've gotten all you can get out of Austin College and its time to move on." Sometimes we need a nudge to leave the nest.

Jim Schierling, 1990/91: Jim was the pastor at Mid-Cities Bible Church. I met with him every Friday morning for almost a year as he invested in me. The "career question" was stirring again as I was thinking of going back to school to get my PhD. Jim said, "I think it would be best if you can align your job with your gifts."

Jim Quick/Jim Lewis, 1993: I link these two conversations together because they were so similar it was like we were reading from a script. The conversations happened one week apart during a lunch at the same restaurant. Quick had been my management professor during my MBA; Lewis was my mentor in the business world. I was teaching full-time at UTA (4 courses per semester during my lunch and at night) and working full-time at Air-Dreco. But, I was becoming increasingly unhappy with the Air-Dreco culture.

Both Jims knew I was unhappy and asked me what I would really like to do. To each of them I responded, "I would really like to go back to school and get my PhD so I could make a living doing what I love: teaching." Each of them then asked me why I didn't do that. I gave the same response to each: "I can't afford to. We have 4 children and Laura doesn't work outside the home."

The first Jim responded,"We need to find you a benefactor." I thought that would be nice, but I had no idea how that would happen.

The next week, the same script played out with precision ... right down to the second Jim asking "Why don't you do that?" and my exact response, "I can't afford to..." Then, the script changed. The second Jim's response was, "What if I provided the financial support you need to do that."

I almost fell out of my chair. He loaned us the money that provided the initial funding for me to pursue my PhD.

Six significant conversations that changed my life.

What are the significant conversations that impacted your life?

38 Christmases and Counting!

2011-12-24T23:59:00.002-06:00

Laura and I have been together for 38 Christmases.

This picture was taken when I was playing Santa Claus at Sears in 1974.

Laura came in to see Santa and have her picture made with me.

(Yes, that's my Arlington High class ring she is wearing!)

Now we have some more reasons for a Merry Christmas.

This is Easton's First Christmas!

This is Landrie, Karsyn, and their new little brother Ryan with Santa Claus.

Ryan arrived just in time for this to be his First Christmas too!

Let Me Introduce You to Ryan Marshall Kirk

2011-12-17T08:01:00.000-06:00

Our newest addition arrived on December 15, 2011.

Now, bothe Landrie and Karsyn are BIG Sisters!

Finishing Weird - Part 5

2011-12-15T02:14:00.002-06:00

Weird people don’t finish like normal people finish.

Weird people finish the course and fulfill their ministry.

Acts 20:24   "But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God."

1 Timothy 6:12   "Fight the good fight of faith; take hold of the eternal life to which you were called, and you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses."

2 Timothy 4:5-8   "But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. For I am already being poured out as a drink offering, and the time of my departure has come. I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith; in the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who have loved His appearing. "

I want to finish strong. I want to finish weird. But, I cannot do that in my own strength. So, I am asking for divine intervention:

Lord, help me to fight the good fight, to keep the faith and to finish the course.

Finishing Weird - Part 4

2011-12-12T00:11:00.001-06:00

Weird people don’t finish like normal people finish.

Weird people walk in the good works He prepared for them to walk in and they don’t grow weary of doing good.

Ephesians 2:10   "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them."

Galatians 6:9   "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary."

2 Thessalonians 3:13   "But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary of doing good."

I want to finish strong, to finish weird. But, I cannot do that in my own strength. So, this is my prayer:

Lord show me the good works you prepared beforehand for me to walk in and don’t let me lose heart or grow weary of doing good.

Finishing Weird - Part 3

2011-12-08T05:07:00.001-06:00

Weird people don’t finish like normal people finish.

Weird people run to win and run with endurance.

1 Corinthians 9:24-25 "Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable.

Hebrews 12:1-2 "Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I want to finish strong. I want to finish weird. But, I cannot do that in my own strength. Therefore, this is my prayer:

Lord give me the strength to run with endurance the race you have set before me. Help me to run in such a way that I may win.

Finishing Weird Part 2

2011-12-05T05:55:00.008-06:00

Earlier this year our pastor, Craig Groeschel released his book, Weird.

The theme of the book is that we are called to be weird - in a God weird way - because normal isn't working.

In this and the next several posts, I will be building on Craig's book and elaborating on what I am calling Finishing Weird.

But first, at bit of overview on being weird:

“If you want what normal people have, do what normal people do.

If you want what few people have, do what few people do.”

Weird people don’t think like normal people think.

Romans 12:1-2 "Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect."

Weird people don’t live like normal people live.

1 Peter 2:11-12 "Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. Keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation."

Weird people don’t finish like normal people finish.

Finishing Weird

2011-11-30T04:44:00.007-06:00

You don't have to be around me for very long before I mention one of my heroes: Coach Carter.

I had the privilege of playing for him when he was the head coach at Arlington High. He's a legend in my mind. As part of the "greatest generation," he landed on Normandy Beach on D-Day. After WW2, he became a teacher and a coach. He began his career at Wichita Falls during the time when Wichita Falls was a football powerhouse like Odessa Permian, Southlake Carrol, and Euless Trinity have been in more recent years.

Football was so dominant at Wichita Falls that they didn't have a a basketball coach. Each year the coaching staff drew straws to determine who would coach the basketball team that year. One year, Coach Carter drew the straw, but confessed he knew nothing about basketball. Fortunately, the legendary Henry Iba was holding a clinic the weekend before the season began, so Coach Carter went to Oklahoma to hear him. During the Q&A session, someone asked Iba what the keys to his success were. He responded that there were two things his teams did. First, they didn't let anyone drive the lane. Coach Carter's hand shot up with a question, "What's the lane?" Everyone laughed, but Iba realized the question was sincere and patiently answered the question. Then he proceeded to his second key which was "We do a whole lot of checking on defense." Again Coach Carter raised his hand, "What's checking?"

The following Monday the basketball team assembled for their first practice. Coach Carter told them, "We may not do much else this year, but we're going to do two things! First, we're not going to let anyone drive the lane. And second, we're going to do a whole lot of checking on defense." That year his basketball team lost the state championship by two points.

I asked Coach Carter if he ever thought about coaching at the college level. "Only once," he replied. "Darrell called. He wanted me to coach the secondary at Texas. I actually thought about it for two days."

Coach Carter "retired" in 1981 and moved to Marlowe, Oklahoma. Once he settled there, he began volunteering as a football and track coach. He is now 89 years old and still coaching.

In 2002, the Marlowe track complex was named the "Bill Carter Track-and-Field Complex."

Friday September 3, 2010 was designated Bill Carter Day in the state of Oklahoma.

He still competes in the Senior Olympics and sets world records for his age group each year. And all of this he has done since he "retired" !

Last year an Oklahoma TV station did a story on Coach Carter.

In his book, Halftime, Bob Buford observes that we tend to spend the first half of our lives trying to be successful. Then, in the second half we start focusing on being significant. I would add that even that is weird.

Most of the people I know, simply check out when their kids leave the nest. They defer to younger people to do the work and the volunteering, often times claiming they had paid their dues and its someone else's turn.

That's normal. But, we are called to be weird! To live weird, and to finish weird - because normal doesn't work.

Coach Carter is weird! At a time when others have not just moved to the sidelines, but have retired to the bleachers as observers, he is still in the game!

I want to be like Coach Carter, finishing strong, finishing weird.

Because normal isn't working.

Zem's Rule

2011-11-28T04:07:00.002-06:00

I had a meltdown a few weeks ago.

The catalyst for the meltdown was an overwhelming feeling of technological incompetence. You see, I was preparing to teach on-line for the first time in my life and although I have all of the content for the course, I am really challenged around the technology and all of the details associated with the course design.

I felt alone, incompetent, and absolutely incapable of taking the very next step on the project. In fact, I had no clue what the very next step might be.

And I had a meltdown. Ready to quit, throw in the towel, and pretty sure that I was probably not qualified to ever teach again, on-line or otherwise.

In the midst of it all I reached out for help. My colleagues that had been through this same territory were patient with me. They encouraged me, they showed me what to do, and they patiently answered the same questions over and over again.

Its all really funny now. The course development is complete, and I think its going to be a great course.

Looking back, I am reminded of the advice my friend Zem once gave me:

"The crisis that you think will end it all on Monday

will be over by Thursday."

Well, the crisis lasted a little more than 4 days; but it is over now!

The sun continued to rise, I walked through the discomfort, I was not alone, and I will be a better teacher because of the process.

I often tell my students to "allow yourself the discomfort." Through this experience, I was reminded of how difficult it is to follow that advice.

I was also reminded of how valuable that advice is.

A Special Thanksgiving

2011-11-24T05:01:00.004-06:00

I have so much to be thankful for and I am intentional about cultivating a spirit of gratitude throughout the year.

But Thanksgiving prompts us to focus even more on our blessings.

This year Thanksgiving falls on November 24, which happens to be my 33rd anniversary. So, its a special Thanksgiving because in addition to giving thanks for all of my blessings, I get to celebrate 33 years of marriage with the love of my life!

Thank you Lord for bringing her into my life!

Thank you Laura for being in my life!

I don’t love you much do I?
Just more than human tongue can tell and that's all

I don’t love you much do I?
Remember how I kissed you in the hall

See how it sparkles in my eyes
I couldn’t hide it if I tried- that’s right

I don’t love you much do I?
Just more than anything else in this whole world

I don’t love you much do I?
Just more than all the stars in the sky

I don’t love you much do I?
I think you hung the moon and that’s alright

I don’t love you much do I?
You can feel it all the way across the room

I don’t love you much do I?
Like the spring doesn’t make the flowers bloom

I don’t love you much do I?

I'd follow you to hell and back again

I don’t love you much do I?
Just watch me light up when you walk in

Tis the Season

2011-11-20T17:54:00.002-06:00

Holidays are upon us. They always seem to sneak up on me, even when I know they're coming.

But that's not the season I am referring to.

Its the "second season" of High School football: Playoffs!

Yesterday I finished my last class of the trimester and headed to the stadium to see Euless Trinity play Allen. We (TRINITY!) eliminated them last year in the same round of the playoffs and they were highly rated - #2 in the state polls. We're only ranked 3rd.

Both teams were undefeated and its a shame two top teams have to meet in Round 2. Somebody's season was coming to an end.

But not Trinity's!

We prevailed with a dominating rushing attack (522 yards rushing). Our tailback had 356 yards on 33 carries. The offensive line was very OFFENSIVE!

Every week will be difficult from now on out. But it doesn't get any better than this. High school football is the purest form of the game. The players aren't recruited and they don't get paid.

And the best football played in the stadium over in Arlington will again be on Fridays and Saturdays in November and December!

One More Time: What's Your Motive?

2011-10-21T08:12:00.002-05:00

I keep coming back to this question. I keep asking it of others because I need to keep asking it of myself.

What's Your Motive?

Let's drill down some on this by asking the following questions:

Why are you planing to do this?

What's the reason behind your doing that?

Why did you say yes (or no)?

What's your motive for writing that letter?

Why are you excited about this new opportunity?

Why did you post that on your Facebook?

Why did you tell that story?

Why do you count the number of books you read each year?

Why did you mention his or her name?

What causes you to bring up that subject?

What is your motive?

Readings for Leading

2011-09-25T13:57:00.004-05:00

Several weeks ago I had the privilege of meeting a man I think is one of the greatest communicators and leaders I have ever known. Getting to meet him personally was a great honor. And his personal humility was refreshing. During our brief conversation, he asked me “What leadership books should I be reading that I haven’t read yet?”

I didn't give a very good answer at the moment, but I thought about it for a couple of days and then sent an email to a member of his leadership team.

It’s a pretty good list for all of us who are interested in leadership, so I thought I would share it with you as well.

One of the best "spiritual" leadership books I have ever read is J.I. Packer's book on Nehemiah, Passion for Faithfulness: Wisdom from the Book of Nehemiah. The intro was challenging, but when he gets into the book of Nehemiah it is great!

Other "spiritual" leadership book recommendations:

Henri Nouwen, In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership

Reggie McNeal, A Work of Heart: Understanding How God Shapes Spiritual Leaders

One of the best leadership books ever is Ron Heifetz and Martin Linsky, Leadership on the Line: Staying Alive Through the Dangers of Leading. He has an interesting framework based on a distinction between technical problems and adaptive challenges. A technical problem exists where the problem is identified, the solution is known, and the leader provides the answer. An adaptive challenge exists when we have to learn our way to understanding the problem, learn our way to the solution, and the locus of the solution is the people with the problem. The leader's job is to facilitate the adaptive work. The last part of this book is the best treatment I have seen on what leader's need to do to guard their hearts and stay in the game.

Finally, if y'all haven't read The Arbinger Group's Leadership and Self-Deception, I highly recommend it as well. It's a fable, like Lencioni's stuff. Really good.

That was the original list I sent. With several weeks of additional thought I would also add:

Bill Hybels, The Courageous Leader
Andy Stanley, Visioneering and The Next Generation Leader
Craig Groeschel, It: How Churches and Leaders Can Get It and Keep It

Let me know when you finish this list and I will give you some additional recommendations.

As I tell my students: Read Early; Read Often!
(kind of like voting in Chicago!)

The Languages of Appreciation

2011-09-06T07:49:00.006-05:00

For several years I have taught The 5 Love Languages as part of the various marriage classes I have developed. I always thought there was an application for this material in the workplace. Well, I guess I was right because Gary Chapman and Paul White recently published The 5 Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace.

Their book is based on the 5 Love Languages framework and focuses on a need we all have: the need to be appreciated. We can understand this by placing it in the context of the various need theories of motivation we teach in Organizational Behavior courses. You're probably familiar with one of these models: Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs. According to these models, a need is any perceived psychological or physiological deficiency. When we experience a deficiency, our behavior is driven to eliminate that deficiency. When the need is met, it no longer motivates our behavior.

Unlike the needs in Maslow's hierarchy that go away when they are satisfied, I think the need to be appreciated remains constant. But like feeling loved, each of us has our own unique way that we want that appreciation expressed. Successful leaders understand this and work hard to understand the "appreciation language" of their followers. In fact, these leaders become students of their followers and customize the way they express their appreciation.

So what are the 5 Languages of Appreciation?

1. Words of Affirmation: These can be expressed verbally or in handwritten notes.
2. Quality Time: Spending time with the person, asking - and actually listening to the their response - how they're doing, just dropping by their office and giving them focused attention.
3. Acts of Service: This would include pitching in to help on a project or sharing the load on an important deadline-driven assignment.
4. Tangible Gifts: Rather than generic awards and plaques, these gifts should be customized for the individual. What would be meaningful to them? Concert tickets to see their favorite band; World Series Tickets
5. Physical Touch: Chapman and White downplay this one for the workplace -for obvious reasons.

As with the Love Languages, we tend to default to our own preferred language when expressing appreciation (or love). If I am going to be effective in communicating my appreciation - and by effective I mean in a way that my appreciation is really felt by the recipient - then I must communicate in their language.

That may mean that I need to get out of my comfort zone, and that's OK, because leadership is not about me.

Mentored ... From a Distance

2011-08-29T09:27:00.003-05:00

One of the books I finally got around to reading this summer was Howard Gardner's Leading Minds. It had been in my library for a while, but I hadn't read it. (There are several books in that category. Its the consequence of a book fetish!)

Gardner makes a distinction between leading directly and leading indirectly. I think we could also apply that distinction to mentoring. There have been several men who have mentored me directly. But there have also been several who mentored me indirectly.

This idea came to me this summer as I began arranging my books on the new bookshelves we added this summer. I have a section in the shelves for the books and authors who had made a significant impact on my spiritual life.

Here are the books that inhabit that special section in my library:

Joe Aldrich, Life-Style Evangelism. This says more about what the church and believers should be, than what we should do.

Gary Friesen, Decision-Making and the Will of God.

Jerry Bridges, The Practice of Godliness and The Pursuit of Holiness.

John MacArthur, The Ultimate Priority. In case your wondering, the ultimate priority is worship. Between this book and Doug Sherman's book, I learned that worship is a "whole-life" concept and that everything we do is to be lived out as an act of worship.

Doug Sherman, Your Work Matters to God; How to Balance Competing Time Demands; and How to Succeed Where it Really Counts. Doug's books helped me to develop my whole-life view of success based on his idea of the pentathlon.

Lewis Sperry Chafer, He That is Spiritual. The best book on the doctrine of the Holy Spirit and what it means to "walk in the spirit."

Philip Yancey, Disappointment with God and The Jesus I Never Knew.

Chuck Swindoll, Strike the Original Match. Still my go-to book on marriage. This is the foundational text for the Legacy Marriage course I developed.

Gene Getz, Sharpening the Focus of the Church. Ahead of his time in calling for a church that is relevant to the culture in which it operates.

Richard Foster, Prayer. The introduction alone is powerful.

Gordon McDonald, Ordering Your Private World; Restoring Your Spiritual Passion; Rebuilding Your Broken World; The Life God Blesses; Mid-Course Correction; A Resilient Life; and Building Below the Water Line.

I consider these books mentors- although from a distance through the written word - just as much as I do those who mentored me directly.

They aren't substitutes for the direct mentors, but they are strong complements.

We need both.

Catch and Release

2011-08-08T09:24:00.002-05:00

Many of my friends – and my son – really enjoy fishing. For them it’s the joy of being on the water early in the morning or late in the evening, patiently casting and recasting. The thrill comes when a fish takes the bait and the fight is on to bring it in.

Successfully reeling it in is always accompanied by some shouting, some bragging, and on a few occasions - picture taking. (Now, I have to admit that these fish all look the same and I have even wondered if it wasn’t the same fish being caught over and over. Or, the same picture being recycled.)

Earlier this summer, I said good-bye to a man I have been mentoring for the last 6 years. It wasn’t really good-bye, but he has moved to Colorado and our relationship will change. And that’s OK.

I have thought a lot about how our relationship has evolved over the last 6 years. In many ways, it can be described as “catch and release.”

I “caught” him 6 years ago when I was serving as Dean and he was making a career transition. He was already a very accomplished author and consultant, but he was new to the academic world.

I invested intentionally in him for 6 years. Like a proud father, I watched with great pleasure as he became a star on the faculty and was named the first winner of a very prestigious teaching award. We wrote several papers together, and just last month submitted our book manuscript to the publisher. It has been a great collaborative relationship, and that collaboration will continue, even at a distance.

Those of us who mentor others understand that these opportunities present themselves for a season. We have people for a season, we make intensely intentional investments in them, and then we release them.

Like fishing: It’s all about “catch and release.”

Easton J Whittington is here!

2011-06-07T09:56:00.010-05:00

One week ago today, Easton arrived!

I say finally because we tried to accelerate his arrival on May 24th, but his time had not yet come!

We all got to experience first-hand the truth of John 16:21:

^"Whenever a woman is in labor she has pain, because her hour has come; but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the joy that a child has been born into the world. "

Shannon and Justin have been great in taking on their new roles as Mommy and Daddy.

And Lolly and Pops are excited to have our grandparenting roles expanded!

Best Advice Ever?

2011-05-21T07:04:00.004-05:00

Its graduation season. All across the country friends and families are gathering to watch their children, siblings, and sometimes even their parents walk across the stage, receive a diploma, and shake the university president's hand. They aim their cameras at the stage to catch the precise moment when the years of sacrifice, prayer, and holding of breath wondering if this would ever happen, finally culminates.

A key element of the graduation ceremony is the commencement address where a speaker challenges the graduates to go forth and make a difference in their world. These speeches are often filled with wisdom and sage advice.

As I reflected on this process while attending a graduation ceremony recently, I began thinking about the advice that I have received over the years. These are some things I might tell graduates if I ever deliver a commencement address again. (Yes, you read it correctly. I have done two of them).

Here is a sampling from the inventory of advice I have collected over the years:

"As a manager, your job is to create an environment where people can perform." (From my father when I got my first managerial position)

"As a teacher, your job is to create an environment where people can learn." (From my dad when I first started teaching)

"The greatest inheritance a father can give his children is to love their mother." (From Ken Kilinski, pastor of Pantego Bible Church)

"Know what you know; know what you don't know and don't be afraid to ask for help." (From Jim, CEO Industrial Air & Hydraulics)

"If its not illegal, immoral, or permanent, don't make a federal case out of it." (Parenting advice from our friend Karla )

"Don't let your children come home from college for the first six weeks of the freshman year." (Parenting advice from our friends the Holders)

Those are some gems of wisdom I have received. I'd like to hear from you.

What is the best advice you have received?

WEIRD Leadership

2011-04-18T09:50:00.006-05:00

“If you want what normal people have, do what normal people do. If you want what few people have, do what few people do.”

Over the last several weeks at LifeChurch, our pastor, Craig Groeschel has been in a series called “Weird.” He has challenged us to be weird – in a God-way – because normal isn’t working. He has talked about being weird in a God-way in terms of relationships, sex, finances, the use of time, and our values.

I want to extend the WEIRD paradigm to leadership. I think we need to become weird leaders, because … normal leadership does not work. As I thought about this paradigm extension, I decided that Legacy Leadership is weird!

What does weird leadership look like? Here are a few weird – Legacy -leadership principles:

1. Legacy leaders are weird because they understand that leadership is not about them, but that it starts with them. They know that leadership begins within and works its way out. Their being – character and integrity – determines their doing.

2. Legacy leaders are weird because they are intensely intentional about investing themselves in others. This is really weird because some of the people we invest in will leave our organization and join other organizations. Legacy leaders are weird because they think that is OK. They invest deeply in people to help them become all that God designed them to be, and they are comfortable with the idea that in order for people to flourish they may need a different environment.

3. Legacy leaders are weird because they measure their impact by changed lives, not market share, revenue growth, building campaigns, or the size of the audience.

4. Legacy leaders are weird because they are intensely intentional about creating more legacy leaders.

5. Legacy leaders are weird because they take the idea of legacy seriously. They understand that living and leading a legacy is about being a blessing to others now and for generations to come.

As leaders, I think it’s time to get weird! Because normal is not working.

Read Early, Read Often

2011-04-05T06:10:00.004-05:00

I hated reading when I was a kid. My mother would take me to the public library in Odessa and I would check out books based on the number of pictures. I just didn't like to read.

When I went to Austin College, something happened. I became enamored with the world of ideas, and started to read. I became obsessed with reading. That obsession continues to grow. Some would even say I have a book fetish! There are books everywhere in my house and my office.

I really love to read. And I read a lot - as you probably know by now. I am not a fast reader; but, I am a diligent reader. I read every morning during my "quiet time." ( I really don't like that phrase, but I don't know what else to call it.) I read while riding the stationary bike at the gym, and I read every night before I fall asleep. I read early and often.

The pace of my reading is off some this year. I am reading some really long books, so the quantity isn't at the same pace as the last few years. But so far, I think the quality is up. Here's the list so far - a kind of first quarter report (for those of you who are conditioned to think in terms of quarterly reviews):

1. An Object of Beauty, Steve Martin

2. House Rules, Jodi Picoult

3. What I Didn't Learn in Business School: How Strategy Works in the Real World, Jay Barney & Trish Gorman Clifford

4. South of Broad, Pat Conroy

5. Black Heels to Tractor Wheels, Ree Drummond

6. 1776, David McCullough

7. Cutting for Stone, Abraham Verghese

8. Happy to Do It: Get Your Snap On, Randy Draper

9. Heaven is for Real, Todd Burpo

10. Beach Music, Pat Conroy

The Learning Mindset

2011-03-16T10:36:00.002-05:00

Effective leaders must cultivate and maintain a learning mindset.

A learning mindset is characterized by a sense of ongoing learning and transformation. Those who have a learning mindset view challenging events and situations as opportunities to learn something new. They are constantly seeking new information that will challenge them and sharpen their leadership skills. There are several ways to do this: attend leadership conferences, take courses on leadership, observe leaders from a variety of contexts, interview other leaders, seek wise counsel from mentors, listen to your followers, seek feedback on strengths and weaknesses, and read.

Leaders who have a learning mindset are motivated to learn in as many situations as possible. In contrast, those who do not have this mindset are often motivated to learn in as few situations as possible.

You know that I am a reader, and I have a strong opinion about the importance of reading as a personal discipline for leaders.

I recently read a comment from a person who said that he didn't read leadership books because those books were answering questions that he was not asking. On the surface, this comment seems reasonable. Yet, if we really reflect on the comment it is very troubling for at least a couple of reasons.

First, there is the assumption that he knows all the questions that he should be asking. I am always drawn to the new questions that are raised when I read a leadership book. I like it when I have to respond, "Wow, I had never considered that" or, "That's a good question and I'm going to start asking it!" The self-referential position that I already know all of the questions that I should be asking sets me up to be blind-sided by situations that I had not anticipated.

A second issue with this person's perspective is the problem of selective exposure. This is a bias that we all fall into. It is the tendency to seek out information that reinforces what we already think and to avoid, or discount, information that contradicts what we already think.

As leaders we need to cultivate a learning mindset and allow ourselves the discomfort of being exposed to ideas that challenge our assumptions and predetermined conclusions.

We need to humbly admit that we don't have all the answers.

In fact, we may not even have all the right questions.

What Does a Mentor Look For?

2011-02-28T22:36:00.002-06:00

One of the greatest joys I have is intentionally investing in the lives of others.

By now you should recognize that as my definition of leadership. I am learning that that process takes place in a wide variety of settings, in multiple venues. Sometimes its one on one over coffee, sometimes its in a small group setting, sometimes its in a classroom.

I am always looking for these opportunities. In particular, I am looking for a certain kind of person. Here are some of the questions I ask when evaluating a potential investment opportunity:

• Does he have a teachable spirit? Is he an eager learner?

• Is he goal-oriented? Does he want to set being, as well as doing, goals?

• Is he seeking a challenging assignment?

• Is he willing to take on additional responsibilities?

• Does he take initiative?

• Is he willing to accept personal responsibility of his growth and development?

While each of these questions is important, the single most important issue is the teachable spirit. I have been approached by people who say they want a mentor, yet they do not want to be taught. These people are "feedback-resistant," defensive or self-promoting. They don't put themselves in a position to learn. These situations simply don't work for a mentor and the time - the investment effort - is wasted.

Are you looking for a mentor?

Do you have what a mentor is looking for?

What Does a Mentor Do?

2011-02-18T01:35:00.000-06:00

Hopefully I am beginning to convince of the need for the intentional investment of a mentor in your life. But perhaps you’re still skeptical about this and you’re wondering what exactly a mentor does.

Here’s a partial list of the contribution mentors have made in my life and the role I have played as a mentor for others:

A mentor:

• Is a source of information
• Provides wisdom
• A Promotes specific skills and effective behaviors
• Provides feedback
• Coaches
• Is a sounding board
• Someone to turn to in times of crisis
• Helps devise plans
• Nurtures curiosity

The Marks of a Mentor

2011-02-15T01:06:00.000-06:00

I have been blessed to have had several mentors throughout my life. The impact these men had on me is hard to describe. It’s even more difficult to fully express the gratitude I have for their investment in me. I have tried to express my gratitude to them in several ways on several occasions. Those efforts never seem to be adequate.

Several years ago it dawned on me that the best way to say “Thank You!” is to be to others what they are to me. In essence, the best way to thank them is to pay it forward.

I call this process Legacy Logic.

These men were mentors for me, and now I have the privilege of being a mentor to others. I know I am biased, but I think we all need mentors, and we need them throughout our lifespan and and in the various arenas of our lives.

So, what should you look for in a mentor? Here are some characteristics that mark effective mentors:

• Seems to have what you personally need
• Cultivates relationships
• Is willing to take a chance on you
• Is respected by other Christians
• Has a network of resources
• Is consulted by others
• Both talks and listens
• Is consistent in their lifestyle
• Is able to diagnose your needs
• Is concerned with your interests

Do you have someone like this in your life? If so, be thankful and express your gratitude.

If not, ask God to guide you to someone who can play this important role in your life.

Do You Fit?

2011-02-10T01:01:00.001-06:00

There’s something happening here. What it is ain’t exactly clear.

For the bulk of my teaching career I have challenged my students to consider their fit with their current organization or a potential new employer. It’s an important consideration.

My understanding of fit has evolved over the years. My initial framework for fit had two primary dimensions. The first dimension has to do with having the skills that match the requirements for the job. For example, having a degree in accounting is necessary for a financial analyst position.

The second level of fit has to do with the rewards of the job satisfying the employee’s needs. This actually has two parts. First the tangible rewards that the job provides must meet the tangible needs of the employee. Tangible needs and rewards include salary and benefits. But, there is more. There are intangible needs that must be met by the job. For instance, I have a need for variety. Just the thought of doing the same task repeatedly drives me crazy. I also like my autonomy – setting my own pace and having the freedom to approach my work from my own unique perspective. So, when evaluating a job, these intangible factors are as important to me as the tangibles.

For many years, this is where my understanding of fit stopped. Then, we sold our company and a new management team took over. They had a completely different approach to business and treated people in a way that would never have been accepted by our previous leadership team. In fact, I came up with a name for this new group. I called them the BOHICANS. That’s based on the acronym for Bend Over, Here it Comes Again!

I worked for the Bohicans for a while, but became increasingly uncomfortable. In fact, the stress level of working there got to the point that I would begin getting nauseated on Sunday afternoons anticipating having to go back to work on Monday. It was kind of weird. I was making more money than I ever had. I had a lucrative quarterly bonus that I always received. Yet something was missing.

I began to wonder whether I fit in this new organization. As I examined this, I discovered a third dimension to the fit model. I realized that my values didn’t line up with the values of the organization. It wasn’t a good vs bad judgment; rather, it was just that I didn’t fit. My philosophy of business and my beliefs about how people should be treated just weren’t in line with the Bohicans.

This lack of fit became a catalyst for a major change in my life. In fact, this poor fit became the impetus for me to leave the corporate environment and return to school to pursue my Ph.D. and transition into a new career of university teaching and consulting. A huge decision that has paid off beyond our wildest imagination!

For the last 15 years, my discussion of fit has stopped at this third level. Yet some recent experiences have again caused me to revisit the fit model. I found myself in an organization where everything seemed to fit, yet something seemed to be missing. Reflecting on this had led to yet another evolution of my fit equation. This one has to do with the “personality” of the organization.

We usually think of individuals having personalities and a useful framework for doing this is a two-dimensional model that has level of activity on one axis and affect on the other. The activity axis ranges from passive to active. The affect axis ranges from negative to positive. If affect is a new term for you consider this: We all know people who have what we would call “Yes-faces” – that’s positive affect. Negative affect is the technical term for people with “No-faces.” (And right now some of each of these people popped into your mind!)

So, we have four possible personality combinations: Active-Positive, Active-Negative, Passive-Positive, and Passive-Negative.

I would suggest that we could use the same framework to describe an organization. And thus we now have a new dimension of fit that needs to be considered: Positive people don’t fit in negative, cynical organizations. And people who are active, get very frustrated in organizations that move slowly. While a crazy, rapid pace can be chaotic, when the pace is too slow, active people become frustrated. It’s kind of like driving behind someone who is driving below the posted speed limit. Even if you’re headed in the same direction, you keep running into them from behind.

Do you fit in your current organization?

Leaders are Readers

2011-02-08T01:27:00.000-06:00

Leaders must be intentional about investing in their own development as a leader. One way to do this, is to read books about leadership.

By now you know that I like to read. For me, it comes with the territory of being a teacher. As a teacher whose primary teaching area is leadership, I read a lot of leadership books. And I have some recommendations for your own developmental reading.

Here's the list of Leadership Books I read in 2010. Most were good, but the ones I most highly recommend are emphasized in bold print:

Leadership Books 2010

1. Derailed, Tim Irwin
2. Theodore Rex, Edmund Morris
3. Holy Ambition, Chip Ingram
4. Leadership: Influence that Inspires, Chuck Swindoll
5. Credibility: How Leaders Gain it and Lose It and Why People Demand It, Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner
6. Leading When it Hurts, Jeff Iorg
7. Why Great Men Fall, Wayde Goodall
8. Judgment: How Winning Leaders Make Great Calls, Noel Tichy & Warren Bennis
9. David: A Man of Passion and Destiny, Chuck Swindoll
10. Think Again: Why Good Leaders Make Bad Decisions and How to Keep it From Happening to You, Sydney Finkelstein, Jo Whitehead, & Andrew Campbell
11. Rescuing Ambition, David Harvey
12. Practicing Greatness: 7 Disciplines of Extraordinary Spiritual Leaders, Reggie McNeal
13. Leaders Who Last, Dave Kraft
14. The Making of a Leader, Robert J. Clinton
15. John Adams, David McCullough
16. The Power of a Whisper, Bill Hybels
17. The Mentor Leader, Tony Dungy
18. Overcoming the Dark Side of Leadership, Gary McIntosh & Samuel Rima
19. The Truth About Leadership, Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner
20. Soul at Work: Spiritual Leadership in Organizations, Margaret Benefiel
21. Leadership and Self-Deception, The Arbinger Group
22. April 1865: The Month that Saved the Nation, Jay Winick

Leaders are Learners

2011-02-05T01:07:00.001-06:00

One of my biggest disappointments came when a leader that I greatly admired told me not to give him anymore books or articles on leadership. He said he knew all he needed to know and wasn't interested in learning anything new.

Wow. I couldn't believe he said that.

That was over 25 years ago and the comment still haunts me. I hope I never get to the point that I think I have learned all I need to know about leadership - or husbanding, parenting, or any kind of relationship for that matter!

One of favorite contemporary leaders is Bill Hybels, the founding pastor of Willow Creek Community Church. He is a leader of leaders and continues to challenge himself and others to grow as a leader.

At the close of the Leadership Summit last year, Hybels issued this challenge:

"Those with leadership gifts have to step up and step it up.

In order to do so, leaders must engage in leadership development as a discipline, not as recreation.

A leader has to read to develop as a leader and they have to be around other leaders. If a leader is going to continue to grow as a leader, they must go where leadership is taught."

Hybels' challenge tells me that as leaders we must be intentional about investing in our own leadership development. We cannot afford to slack off on this and become stagnant.

So, given this challenge, let me ask: How are you doing on the discipline of developing your leadership?

Are you reading about leadership?

Are you seeking out other leaders?

Are you finding environments that teach leadership?

Or have you already learned everything you need to know about leadership?

Back at It

2011-02-03T01:57:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted a blog entry since November. Some of you actually noticed. In fact, two of my friends even sent notes to make sure I was OK. Thanks Walt and Amanda!

Well, I am OK and back to blogging again.

I have spent some time on the balcony, making some observations and doing a lot of reflecting. As a result, I have several new thoughts flowing and I can't wait to share them with you.

Over the next several posts I plan to discuss the need to be intentional about our leadership development. I also want to share some recommended resources with you.

I have some new insights on several topics as well. Over the next several weeks I plan to discuss "fit,"mentoring, and followership. And I'd love to hear your take on these topics!

"Welcome back my friends to the show that never ends.

I'm so glad you could attend. Come inside, come inside."

My Legacy Marriage

2010-11-24T07:01:00.007-06:00

32 years with my Proverbs 31 W0man!

Today we celebrate 32 years of marriage ... and it just keeps getting better!

Throughout this fall season, Laura and I have been teaching the Legacy Marriage material to a group of younger couples.

You may remember my definition of Legacy Marriage:

A Legacy Marriage is a marriage that is a blessing to us now,

and that will be a blessing to others for generations to come.

Our marriage has certainly been a blessing to us. And we sincerely hope that it is a blessing to others!

We will wrap up this session of Legacy Marriage next week. As I was reflecting on our marriage this morning and thinking about what we hope to be teaching and modeling, it occurred to me to ask and answer this question:

What have we learned in 32 years?

1. Marriage is not about me.

2. The main thing is to make your mate the main thing. Focus on meeting her needs. I call this the principle of reciprocity. If I focus on meeting Laura's needs, her response is to meet my needs. And she meets my needs in greater abundance than they would have been met if I had just been focusing on myself. I would like to take credit for this idea, but I can't. It is actually a biblical principle based on Philippians 2: 3-4:

Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.

3. Its not my job to change my spouse. That's God's job. My job is to be the husband I am supposed to be - regardless of what she does or doesn't do.

4. The greatest inheritance a father can give his children is to love their mother.

Today we celebrate 32 years of Legacy Marriage.

I am looking forward to at least 32 more years!

The Catalytic Mindset

2010-11-08T05:11:00.001-06:00

Organizational inertia is the tendency of an organization to continue moving in the same direction until acted upon by some force that changes the direction.

Like individual people, organizations often become creatures of habit - continuing to follow the same routines and the same strategies. The status quo becomes the dominant force and stagnation sets in. Borrowing an image from ecology, when the organization fails to adapt to the changes going on in the environment, the environment will select that organization out.

The catalyst for changing an organization's trajectory is often a leader who recognizes that while changing will be uncomfortable and risky, not changing is an even riskier proposition.

Challenging the status quo in this way is an inherently high-risk position, but this is a differentiating factor between managers and leaders. A manager’s tolerance for risk is often trumped by a dominant need for survival. Leaders, on the other hand, are often temperamentally predisposed to seek risk. They react to the mundane nature of managerial work as to an affliction.

Where managers act to limit choices among potentially acceptable compromise positions, leaders actually seek to develop fresh approaches to existing problems. They seek to open issues to new options that may have never been considered. Leaders challenge long-standing assumptions and raise expectations by casting a vision that appeals to the head and the heart.

Leaders are change agents who change the trajectory of their organizations. They facilitate the adaptive work of their organization and seek to position the organization for long-term sustainability.

Change is always risky because we never have absolute certainty on how it will turn out. Leader's understand this. But they also understand this crucial fact:

If there is cost for changing,

there is a cost -usually an even greater cost - of not changing.

The Moral Mindset

2010-10-25T09:05:00.003-05:00

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive,

you will leave her thinking like a LEADER!”

Those who lead always have people who are dependent upon them. The greater the dependency, the more power a leader has. So, a central question for those who lead is:

How will you handle the dependency of your followers?

Leaders must develop an acute sensitivity to the moral responsibilities inherent in their role.

Recently I had a conversation with a high-potential leader. We were discussing the power inherent in the leadership role. He told me “It scares me to death that I might be in a role where people will do what I ask simply because of my role.”

I responded by saying: “Stay scared.”

As long as leaders are sensitive to the power inherent in their position and realize their own potential to abuse that power, they will be on the right path.

It’s when we lose that perspective that we start down the road of unethical leadership.

So, stay scared.

The Collaborative Mindset

2010-10-19T03:39:00.001-05:00

The collaborative mindset is all about appreciating relationships . This is a critical ingredient in leadership.

Leadership is intentional influence that takes place in the context of a relationship.

Because relationships are the primary context for the leadership process, leaders must develop the interpersonal dimension of organizations. The development of this capacity must begin with the leader. The leader must model the way and take the initiative for developing relationships throughout the organization.

Those who rise to leadership positions without cultivating the skills of relationship-building, negotiating, stakeholder coordination, and knowledge management will have limited effectiveness.

So, effective leaders understand the importance of developing emotional intelligence - EQ. Emotionally intelligent leaders are aware of their emotions and use their emotions in a constructive way.

Leaders with a high level of emotional intelligence are also aware of the emotions of others. They display empathy as they help others manage their own emotions.

Leaders who lack the skills associated with emotional intelligence lose their influence and may actually derail their careers.

How's your EQ? Are you cultivating and nurturing your relationship with those you lead?

The Worldly Mindset

2010-10-15T04:33:00.005-05:00

Navigating Complex Environments

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive, you will leave her thinking like a LEADER!”

Contemporary organizations operate in increasingly dynamic and complex global environments. In order to survive and thrive, every leader must wrestle with how to cope and adapt in their environmental context.

Here’s a fancy term to use when trying to impress your friends: requisite variety.

The principle of requisite variety states that the organization’s response to the environment in which it operates must match the environment. So, if the environment is becoming increasingly complex and dynamic, so must the organization. The big idea is matching the structure of the organization with the characteristics of the environment.

When the operating environment is simple and stable, the organization can afford to be more mechanistic, using policies and procedures to deal with the normal operation of the organization.

But, when environmental complexity increases, the organization must be much more organic. In this environment, rules and regulations will not be sufficient to meet the demands placed on the organization. These environments require empowered employees who use their own judgment to respond to customer demands and solve problems.

This in turn requires leaders to develop the adaptive capacity of their teams and trust those teams to act in the best interest of the organization and its stakeholders.

Does the structure of your organization match the environment that it operates in?

Are you practicing requisite variety?

Bad Leadership - Part 3

2010-10-11T05:07:00.000-05:00

“Watch out now, take care
Beware of greedy leaders
Who take you where you should not go.”

My car has the On-Star navigation system. That’s a really good thing for a directionally challenged guy like me. I can call On-Star, give them the address I’m trying to find, and they provide directions. Of course, I think I know best sometimes and I decide to deviate from the prescribed path. When I do that, a voice comes on and tells me, “You have left the designated path.” To get back on the designated path, On-Star tells me to "make a safe and legal u-turn.”

As leaders, we need people in our lives who will tell us when we have left the designated path. These are people who are not only willing to tell us we’re off the right path, but they move in alongside us and help us make the necessary u-turns.

There is an interesting teaching going around these days. It’s the idea that we are to be loyal armor bearers for our leaders, trusting their vision without questioning.

I am all for loyalty - two-way loyalty that flows both ways: from the leader to the follower and from the follower to the leader. But, I don’t think loyalty requires a whole-hearted endorsement when the leader has left the proper path and is on the road to derailment.

In these cases, the most loyal thing a follower can do is confront the leader.

We all have blindspots in our lives: Areas that are known to others and unknown to ourselves. Others see it clearly when we cannot – or when we refuse to acknowledge it. I want people in my life who love me enough to confront those blindspots and turn me around.

When should we be willing to confront a leader? What are the signs that a leader has left the designated path and needs to make a u-turn? Recently, Chuck Swindoll identified six areas that should cause alarm for us as followers. I have used his list as the basis for the following list of warning signs:

Authoritarianism. Take care when a leader begins repressing your freedom. If there is a lack of a servant's heart, and if the leader doesn’t have a teachable spirit, then pride is in control. Be especially wary of one who seems to have all the answers.

Exclusiveness. Watch out for the "we alone are right" and the "us four and no more" attitudes. Exclusiveness often shows up when people are encouraged to break commitments with long-standing friends. Some leaders actually ban contact with those who left their organization. In extreme cases, employees are terminated because they didn't sever ties with former members of the organization.

Greed. We are told to avoid even the appearance of greed (Ephesians 5:3). When there is a lack of transparency in the budgeting process and accounting for funds and requests for a more open process are stone-walled, beware.

Sensuality. Moral purity is a must if the leader claims God's hand is on his life. A holy life is never optional.

Lack of accountability. Leaders who refuse to be accountable to anyone forfeit the right to be trusted and followed. Every leader needs counsel and occasional confrontation. Many leaders have set up systems of pseudo-accountability to people who operate at a distance. These systems give the appearance of accountability, but the leader is shunning real accountability to anyone who is close enough to observe their day-to-day dealings.

Rationalization. This takes several forms:

When wrong is justified with a defensive spirit,

When inappropriate actions are quickly glossed over,

When scriptural truth is twisted to fit a sinful lifestyle,

When gray-black facts are whitewashed,

When behavior is defended using definitional technicalities,

When tremendous amounts of energy are spent attacking and labeling critics, ...

When any of these things happen, something is deeply wrong.

When these signs first appear, a loyal follower should challenge and confront the leader. If the leader shuns the reprimand and continues on the path, then the obligation of loyalty has been breached. Stop your support.

Jesus Himself said, "Let them alone; they are blind guides of the blind. And if a blind man guides a blind man, both will fall into a pit." (Matthew 15:14)

"Watch out now, take care ..."

The Analytic Mindset

2010-10-08T09:36:00.005-05:00

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive,

you will leave her thinking like a LEADER!”

Successful leadership of complex organizations requires the development of a “meso” approach that integrates the macro (big picture stuff like strategy and structure) and the micro (the stuff that deals with the individual employee and department of the organization) elements of the organization.

The analytic mindset is developed through the exposure to and application of the analytical tools used to manage specific organizations and to formal approaches that improve managerial effectiveness.

This requires that the concepts of strategy, structure, culture, technology, and human resources be understood in a systematic way that allows leaders to view the process of leading as a melding of science, art and craft. These subsystems are interrelated and interdependent. You cannot address issues in one area in isolation from the others. If you change something in one subsystem, it will impact the others. Ceteris paribus (holding everything else constant) might work in economics, but it doesn't work when leading complex organizations.

Several years ago I was engaged in a consulting project for a large IT department. As part of my assessment I interviewed the executives and directors. I asked each of them this question: "What is the most pressing issue facing your organization right now?" The responses were unanimous. Every one told me that they needed to restructure the organization. I responded to that by asking "What's your strategy?"

They were somewhat taken aback by my new question and wondered why I asked that question. The reason was simple: Until you have clear sense of your strategy, you really cannot determine the appropriate structure.

The key idea in this analytical mindset is alignment. Are the structures, processes, and people aligned with the strategy of the organization?

Let me be somewhat of a contrarian here. Jim Collins says you have to get the right people on the bus. I agree to some extent. You do need to get the right people on the bus – and get some off the bus (But don’t throw them under the bus!). But you cannot determine who the right people are until you have a clear sense of what it is you’re trying to achieve.

There’s an old cliche that gets circulated through Principles of Management courses: “Structure Follows Strategy.”

Indeed, structure should follow strategy. And, processes should follow strategy; and people should follow strategy.

Maybe its time to do an alignment check on your organization.

The Reflective Mindset

2010-10-03T08:58:00.006-05:00

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive,

you will leave her thinking like a LEADER!”

“Leadership is not about me, but it starts with me.”

I begin most of my leadership talks with that statement. Before I can lead others, I must thoroughly understand myself. I must examine and challenge myself to make sure that I am worthy of imitation.

The reflective mindset requires a leader to gain an understanding of their personal leadership philosophy and style - how they present themselves to others, their strengths and weaknesses, and their current leadership skills. This is achieved through a thorough, reflective, and often uncomfortable self examination.

A useful tool for developing the reflective mindset is the development of a Life-Map. The best way to begin the process is to do a placing exercise by creating a time line of your life, from birth to the present. Above the time line record the major social and political events of your life. For example, I was born in 1960, so my time line includes JFK, Rock-n-Roll, Civil Rights Movement, Walking on the Moon.

Below the line, record the key personal events and relationships of your life. Some things to consider are:

Educational experiences
Family situations
New job/career directions
Promotion/special projects
Interactions with a significant individual
Personal crises

Once the placing exercise is done, you now have the raw data for developing your Life-Map.

The Life Map exercise extends the placing exercise by asking you to reflect on how these events impacted your personality, values, worldview and leadership style.

It may be helpful to label or classify these events based on the meaning and significance each event held for you. Here are some suggested categories:

Milestone events are characterized as a means to an end. They are checkpoints in your life course.

Confirmational events affirm or disconfirm some particular attribution of your professional self, organizational or career reality.

Decisional events represent the decisions or choices you actively make. These events represent a conscious choice and require a high level of involvement and commitment. These decisions are based on a belief that they will result in a positive outcome that is congruent with the individual’s hopes and aspirations.

Transformational events shake the entire fabric of an individual’s life. Frequently they touch the very core of your being by challenging your life purpose and result in a transformation of many aspects of your life. These events provide the catalyst for profound change in direction, self-perception and worldview.

In addition, you should look for “crucible events.” Crucible events are defined as trials that rupture the status quo by coming upon us unexpectedly. They force us to answer fundamental questions about our identity, values, purpose, and priorities.

Taken together as a whole, these exercises should help you identify the meta-narrative of your life. These are the stories about the events that shaped your view of the world and that help you make sense of the otherwise apparent randomness of life (Andy Stanley, The Principle of the Path).

Leadership is not about me, but it starts with me. I need to look deep inside of myself to understand my worldview, my values, my style. Its not easy and sometimes its painful.

Allow yourself the discomfort of doing this important work.

The Six Mindsets of Leadership

2010-09-24T09:10:00.003-05:00

One of my favorite movie scenes occurs in The Paper Chase. Professor Kingsfield (played excellently by John Houseman) is addressing his first-year students at Harvard Law School. He tells them:

“You came here with a mindful of mush, and if you survive, you will leave here thinking like a lawyer.”

I would love to give a similar speech to my leadership students:

“You came here with a mindful of mush,

and if you survive, you will leave here thinking like a LEADER!”

I just don’t think I could pull it off with a straight face.

Despite my lack of acting ability, I do think there are certain things that are necessary for the development of effective leaders. I call these the six mindsets of leadership.

In the next several posts, I will be explaining these. These are the core issues that I seek to develop in my students and my executive coaching clients.

Here’s the Big Idea:

Leading effectively in the context of an increasingly dynamic and diverse environment requires the development six leadership mindsets.

Do you have the mind of a leader?

Finishing Strong

2010-08-31T02:09:00.000-05:00

During a conversation with a friend the other day we were joking with each other that we were in the “Second Half.” (Of course, he’s further into the second half than I am!)

As I thought about this, I began reflecting on some men that I know who are even further into the second half. In fact, they are well into the fourth quarter. But they are still in the game, fighting the good fight.

One of these men is Dean. Dean is in his eighties, still working full-time and more excited about his ministry now than he has ever been. Last year he sat in on a class I taught because (in his words), “I have so much to learn.”

I hope when I am in my eighties I still have the passion to serve and the desire to learn.

Another man I think of is Foy. He was in a small group leadership training program I was conducting a few years ago. One week we met in his home that he had lived in for 50+ years. During the refreshment time, I mentioned to him that I was always surprised to see people in his generation at a church that was intentionally focused on young people. I said, “I know the music must drive you crazy.” I had barely finished the sentence when Foy said, “But it’s not about me!”

I hope when I am Foy’s age I am still attending training sessions to equip me for a new ministry assignment.

I hope I will be able to say “It’s not about me” when the style of worship doesn’t line up with my personal preferences but is having a huge impact on others.

Dean and Foy are well into the Second Half. They have chosen to Finish Strong.

May their tribe increase!

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the course, I have kept the faith."

The View from the Summit - Part Six

2010-08-24T21:07:00.001-05:00

The Land Between
Jeff Manion

The space in our lives that we most resent is the very soil where God wants to produce the fruit we most desperately need.

Leaders move people from Here to There. But what happens between Here and There?

The Israelites were moving from Egypt to the Promised Land, but there was a lot of time “between.” They were out of slavery, but not yet in the promised land.

The land between is fertile soil. It is fertile for:

A. Complaint. Complaining about condition vs complaining against God, which is the equivalent of cosmic treason.

B. Meltdown. “The burden is too heavy; I can’t carry it anymore.” All spiritual leaders experience this. In Numbers 11 we see the honest prayer of a great spiritual leader. Moses cries out to God:

"Why have You been so hard on Your servant? And why have I not found favor in Your sight, that You have laid the burden of all this people on me? Was it I who conceived all this people? Was it I who brought them forth, that You should say to me, 'Carry them in your bosom as a nurse carries a nursing infant, to the land which You swore to their fathers'? Where am I to get meat to give to all this people? For they weep before me, saying, 'Give us meat that we may eat! I alone am not able to carry all this people, because it is too burdensome for me. So if You are going to deal thus with me, please kill me at once, if I have found favor in Your sight, and do not let me see my wretchedness."

C. God’s Provision. God provides leaders to team up with us. In Number 11:16, God hears Moses plea and provides him some help:

The LORD therefore said to Moses, "Gather for Me seventy men from the elders of Israel, whom you know to be the elders of the people and their officers and bring them to the tent of meeting, and let them take their stand there with you. Then I will come down and speak with you there, and I will take of the Spirit who is upon you, and will put Him upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with you, so that you will not bear it all alone.”

D. God’s Discipline. Discipline is inflicting pain for a redemptive purpose. The Israelites had been complaining about manna and wanted some meat to eat. So God answered their prayer.

It’s actually humorous because He tells them that they will have meat, meat, and more meat. So much meat that they will become sick of it! He actually uses this to teach the Israelites a lesson.

“Therefore the LORD will give you meat and you shall eat. 'You shall eat, not one day, nor two days, nor five days, nor ten days, nor twenty days, but a whole month, until it comes out of your nostrils and becomes loathsome to you; because you have rejected the LORD who is among you and have wept before Him, saying, "Why did we ever leave Egypt?"'"

E. Transformational Growth. The land between was intended to transform the people of Israel and get them ready for the Promised Land. They needed to learn to trust God, to pray, and to depend on Him.

Transformational growth doesn’t happen automatically. It is here that we learn about the sufficiency of God.

"The LORD said to Moses, "Is the LORD'S power limited? Now you shall see whether My word will come true for you or not." "

When we are in between Here and There, our heart is in danger. We have left the known and have not yet arrived in the promised land. In the land between, a choice has to be made: Growth or Death.

Complaint shows up without an invitation and resists eviction. We deter complaint by inviting trust in. Trust evicts complaint.

Are you in between? Are you in a place that is uncomfortable?

The space in my life that I most resent is the very soil where God wants to produce the fruit I most desperately need.

The View from the Summit - Part Five

2010-08-22T00:47:00.002-05:00

You don't have to talk to me for very long before you realize that Andy Stanley is one of my favorite leadership authors. So, I was particularly excited to see that he was on the faculty of this year's Leadership Summit.

My thoughts about Andy were affirmed when Bill Hybels introduced him by saying that "Andy's success has not gone to his head or his heart."

The Upside of Tension

Myth: "Great leaders with mature organizations will resolve all the problems and eliminate tension."

Fact: "Some tensions are never resolved and some problems are never solved. The key is to leverage the dynamics in a way that creates progress. We need to manage pressure and tension in a way that results in progress."

I. Every organization has problems that shouldn't be solved and tensions that shouldn't be resolved.

A. What's more important? Examples: effectiveness or efficiency? responsiveness or profitability? academic rigor or relevance? Evangelism or Discipleship?

B. If you "resolve" any of those tensions, you will create a new tension.

C. If you resolve any of those tensions, you create a barrier to progress.

D. Progress depends not on the resolution of those tensions but on the successful management of those tensions.

II. To distinguish between problems to solve and tensions to manage, ask the following questions:

Does the problem or tension keep resurfacing?
Are there mature advocates on both sides?
Are the two sides really interdependent?

Example of a tension in a Biblically Functioning Church: Is our primary role as a Church to create mature believers or is it to keep it attractive and safe for non-believers?

III. The role of leadership is to leverage the tension to the benefit of your organization.

A. Identify the tensions to be managed in your organization.

B. Create terminology for a 3rd category: "Tensions we have to manage."

C. Inform your core. Make sure the key players understand the fact that this is not ever going away!

D. Continually give value to both sides.

E. Don't weigh in too heavily based on your personal preferences. A leader's opinion/personality will accidentally take things off the table. As leaders we need to understand the upside of the opposite side and understand the downside of your side.

F. Don't allow strong personalities to win the day. I need passionate people who will champion their side and mature people who will recognize the reality of needing to live with tensions.

G. Don't think in terms of balance. Think in terms of rhythm. In the rhythm of an organization's life there will be times to lean heavily and times to lean away. Make the call under the leadership of the Holy Spirit.

As a leader, one of the most valuable things you can do for your organization is differentiate between tensions your organization will always need to manage vs. problems that need to be solved.

The View from the Summit - Part Four

2010-08-20T01:26:00.001-05:00

When Leaders Fall - Adam Hamilton

Leaders seem to be particularly susceptible to temptations that when acted on lead to personal derailment. I have previously posted comments about the road to derailment. Hamilton's talk was focused on derailment due to temptations in the area of improper relationships and sexual misconduct.

Why are leaders so susceptible?

We are wired for reproduction.
We have a deep desire for intimacy and companionship.
We have a inherent sin drive that can lead to self-destruction.
Leaders are attractive to others.
When we are empty, we are vulnerable.

"The moment of the maybe" when we begin to play with an idea in our mind. While it may be natural to find others attractive, we should never communicate those thoughts.

"There is a short distance between communicating feelings and acting on them."

Five R's for Resisting Temptation:

Remember who you are: Lord I belong to you.
Recognize the consequences of your actions: How will you feel after?
Rededicate yourself to God: Stop, Drop, and Pray.
Reveal your struggle to a trusted friend.
Remove yourself from the situation.

In his book The Next Generation Leader, Andy Stanley poses two important questions for dealing with temptations:

"What little thing in your life has the potential to become a big thing?"
"Who other than you knows about it?"

We need to practice James 5:16 "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another so that you may be healed The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much. "

As leaders we have a target on our back. Opponents would love to see us fall, and the Enemy would love to remove us from our places of influence.

Wise leaders will heed the warnings and proactively place firm boundaries into their lives.

The View from the Summit - Part Three

2010-08-18T08:59:00.008-05:00

Tony Dungy was interviewed by Jimmy Mellado. These are the highlights of that interview.

Influences on his leadership philosophy. He was greatly influenced by his father who was a professor. His father described his job as "helping students get A's."

The next influence was Coach Chuck Noll who told him that his only job as a coach was to "help players play better."

Thus, "the job of any leader is to help those you lead get better."

As he discussed this, I was reminded of lessons I learned from my own father. When I first became a manager my dad told me that my job was to create an environment where people could perform. A few years later I began teaching part-time and my dad told me that my primary task as a teacher was to create an environment where students could learn.

Living with life balance. "We are going to win, but can't make football your life." He modeled balance for his staff and his team. The facility was open to families and he often had his children at practices and meetings.

Be efficient; get work done.

Don't mistake hours for productivity.

Don't feel guilty about going home.

Mentoring. "We have to be available to mentor. A 30 second conversation with a mentor can change your life. Everybody should have a Paul and a Timothy in their life."

What does mentoring look like? "Learn about the mentee and develop the relationship. The informal part is so much more important than the formal part."

"The biggest thrill you get is watching people come in and develop."

What type of person do you look for? "The Lord puts people in your path. We need to be intentional about reaching out to young people in our community." Dungy feels a calling from the Lord to reach junior/senior high school kids.

Dungy's Mom and Dad were his first mentors. "All the people in his life led him to Jesus Christ. Jesus is the best mentor/leader I have ever been involved with."

"What would it profit to win the Super Bowl but not know Jesus?"

The View from the Summit - Part Two

2010-08-14T09:07:00.006-05:00

Session 2: Jim Collins author of Good to Great and How the Mighty Fall.

“Greatness is largely a matter of conscious choice and discipline.”

Series of Stages in Failure:

Great -->Good -->Mediocre -->Bad -->Irrelevant -->Gone

There's an analogy between sick organizations and people who have cancer. Both are already sick on the inside, but still look strong on the outside. The disease may be well advanced before any signs of its presence become obvious.

Stage 1: Hubris born of success: Outrageous arrogance that inflicts suffering on the innocent.

Stage 2: Undisciplined pursuit of more that allows growth to exceed capacity.

Stage 3: Denial of risk & peril: warning signs are denied and a culture of denial takes hold.

Stage 4: Grasping for salvation:

Stage 5: Capitulation: It’s over; capital is squandered.

As Collins was discussing the stages of organizational decline, I couldn't help but think of the parallels with individual derailment.

Stage I: Failure of Self-Awareness
Leaders on the road to derailment have an acute lack of self-awareness. Knowing ourselves and our inner thoughts informs us of the needs, desires, hopes and moods of others that we might respond appropriately.

This self-awareness parallels emotional intelligence. It involves empathy, consideration and attentiveness to employees' interests. Derailing leaders seem oblivious to how their behavior impacts others and the resulting failure to build a strong alignment alliance. They have huge blindspots and can’t see beyond their own understanding of their personal truth.

Stage II: Hubris: Pride before the Fall
Power provides one of the most revealing tests of a person’s character. While a failure of character manifests itself in many ways, arrogance stands as the most self-destructive.

Just as humility seems to be at the epicenter of leadership effectiveness, arrogance is commonly at the root of a leader’s undoing. Arrogance is the "mother of all derailers."

Arrogant leaders seem to eschew feedback that's beneficial to any leader. They become “truth-starved.”

Stage III: Missed Early Warning Signals
Like people who ignore blatant warning signals and cross railroads in front of a train, derailment signs are usually there, but not heeded.

Otherwise-talented leaders don't see the signals of subtle but persistent feedback about their inner state, or other's diminishing confidence in them.

Early warning signs should have jarred their attention to avoid the danger ahead. Instead, these distracted leaders barrel ahead toward the inevitable crash.

Stage IV: Rationalization
When it finally becomes apparent that a leader is losing his or her constituents' confidence, defenses are heightened. A siege mentality takes over, and the leader starts to rationalize.

In Stage IV the leader isolates himself and becomes increasing insulated from the information that could either fend off disaster greatly limit the damage.

The most damning consequence is that derailing leaders lie to themselves. Some may even believe, “I'm too important to fail.”

The derailing leader twists data to fit their world view. In an attempt to maintain psychological equilibrium, the derailing leader believes the lie, despite many warning signs.

Stage V: Derailment
Derailment is not inevitable, but without attention to development, it is probable. Just like the fall of mighty organizations, derailment is a process that proceeds in predictable stages.

Ignoring the early warning signs puts us in great peril.

As with organizational failure, the steps toward derailment are largely self-inflicted. Derailment is more the result of what a leader does to him or her self than it is what happens to them.

Are there subtle warning signs that you're ignoring?

Are you isolating yourself from feedback and loyal criticism?

Are you taking a step onto the path that leads to derailment?

Is your internal GPS system telling you to "make a safe and legal u-turn?"

Will you heed that inner voice?

The View from the Summit - Part One

2010-08-12T08:26:00.004-05:00

Summit: "the highest point or part."

When you are at the summit, you have a different perspective. You can see farther and you can see the big picture unfolding. Like the coach who sits in the press box, you can see the plays unfolding. The view provides a perspective that the coach on the sidelines doesn’t have.

Last week I had the opportunity to go to the Summit: The Global Leadership Summit sponsored by Willow Creek Community Church. Being at the Summit, I have some new perspectives on leadership and I will be sharing those insights and my reflections with you.

Session 1: Bill Hybels

Leaders move people from Here to There.
There is a preferred future that releases passion. This is the promise on the other side and provides a purpose for the temporary, yet painful, discomfort of making deep change. The point of beginning for deep change is not to make there seem wonderful, but to make here sound awful.

The change process begins by creating a sense of urgency that will overcome the sources of complacency. The leader’s role is to create a sense of “Holy Discontent” with the current situation.

While going there may be risky, staying here is even more risky.

We can’t stay here!

It takes Fantastic People to move from Here to There.
The greatest joy of leadership is assembling a team of fantastic people. They have character, competence, chemistry and fantastic people fit the culture of the organization. When there is a fit, people flourish.

Mile Markers and Celebrations.
Deep change may take 18-36 months. Leaders need to keep people on the journey. There is excitement at the beginning of the journey and great anticipation as we approach the end, but in the middle people hope wains. The mean-time between here and there is mean. Vision leaks. People forget how bad the past was and cannot yet see the promise of the future.

Therefore, leaders need to generate, plan for, and celebrate short-terms wins that provide hope that we will get there.

Whispers from God.

We don’t get from here to there without hearing from God in the process

John 10:27: “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

I hear from God primarily through his Word. But I also hear directly from His Spirit. He puts thoughts in my mind that are not my thoughts.

Do you think God speaks? If you felt God was transmitting to you, how concerned would you be about the quality of your antenna?

“The smartest moves I have ever made as a leader didn’t come from my own wisdom, but from whispers from God.”

Can you say: “Speak Lord, your servant is listening.” (1 Samuel 3:9)

Will you do everything in your power to hear and heed His voice?

The Books of Summer

2010-08-01T21:42:00.002-05:00

One of my favorite movies of all time is For Love of the Game.

There's a line in the movie when Billy Chapel meets Jane. Her car has broken down on the highway as she was trying to get out of town. He asks her why she's getting out of town and she responds, "Because summer's over and I missed it."

I have had several summers in the past that I could describe with that quote. Not so this summer. It has been an easy and relaxing summer. We took several mini-vacations and even the pace at the university was less intense than summers past.

So, there has been an expanded opportunity to read. Here's the book list for the summer (Boldfaced titles are highly recommended!):

Judgment: How Winning Leaders Make Great Calls, Noel Tichy & Warren Bennis

Miles From Nowhere, Nami Mun

David: A Man of Passion and Destiny, Chuck Swindoll

Think Again: Why Good Leaders Make Bad Decisions and How to Keep it From Happening to You, Sydney Finkelstein, Jo Whitehead, & Andrew Campbell

Rescuing Ambition, David Harvey

Beach House, Jane Green

Raising Cole: A Father’s Story, Marc Pittman

Heart of the Matter, Emily Giffin

Losing the Promised Land: Elisha and the Kings of Judah, John MacArthur

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Stieg Larsson

What is God Really Like? Craig Groeschel, Editor

Counterfeit Gods: The Empty Promises of Money, Sex, and Power, and the Only Hope that Matters, Timothy Keller

The Girl Who Played With Fire, Stieg Larsson

Practicing Greatness: 7 Disciplines of Extraordinary Spiritual Leaders, Reggie McNeal

Leaders Who Last, Dave Kraft

The Girl Who Kicked the Hornet’s Nest, Stieg Larsson

Yep. I read the Stieg Larsson trilogy. Perhaps the best thriller/spy novel books I have read in a long time.

No Offs

2010-07-14T08:35:00.003-05:00

Have you ever played the domino game 42?

Its a great game. If you like the card games of Spades or Hearts, you would love 42. Its all about bidding, catching tricks, or trying the set the other team's effort to make their bid.

42 is based on one point for every trick you catch (7) + the value of all the multiple of 5 dominoes you catch (3-2, 4-1, 5-0, 6-4, 5-5). If you catch all of those, the points add up to 35. So, 7 + 35 = 42.

In 42 sometimes you draw a hand that is a "lay down" hand. You have all the high trumps and the rest of the hand is doubles. There's no point in playing out the hand because you cannot be set. So, you just lay it down.

Lay down hands have "no offs." Offs are "weak" dominoes that you hope you can walk through on the last hand of the round.

If the logic of 42 escapes you, find one of your Aggie friends. They play 42 at the Dixie Chicken in College Station and keep score with chalk marks on the tables.

If the math of 42 escapes you, you may need remediation because even the Aggies get the math of 42.

I have been thinking for a while about albums in my collection that have no offs. You know how it is - you buy an album (yes an album is the correct term - even if its a CD or MP3 download. I know - I am old school.) You bought the album because there is a really good song or two, but the rest of album isn't so good ... it has lots of offs.

But every once in a while, you get an album that has no offs.

Here's my list of No Off Albums:

Guy Clark, Old Number One

Neil Young, Harvest

Leon Russell, Leon Russell

Elton John, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road actually deserves extra credit. Its a double album with no offs. If Elton was playing 42 with that album he would have bid "two marks" or 84. And he would have made it because Goodbye Yellow Brick Road is a "lay down hand" that has "no offs."

So, what are your no off albums? I'd like to know.

But, there are rules to the game: Live albums and greatest hit compilations are not eligible for the list.

So, review the hand of albums you have and make your bids!

Bad Leadership - Part 2

2010-07-09T10:05:00.003-05:00

In a previous post, I discussed the seven types of Bad Leadership that were identified by Barbara Kellerman.

She points out that in every case of bad leadership, followers played an important role. They either actively supported the leader’s behavior, or passively allowed it … and failed to confront.

There are several explanations for follower compliance in cases of Bad Leadership:

1. The follower’s values may actually be aligned with those of the leader. As with Jim Jones and the People’s Temple, these followers drank the Kool-Aid and cannot see the leader as “bad.” In fact, they become the most ardent supporters of the leader and actively seek to eliminate any who dissent.

2. The follower doesn’t have the courage to speak up. This is often due to having seen others who spoke up being berated or even dismissed. As I write this I am reminded of the quote: “All that is necessary for evil to prevail is for good people to do nothing.”

3. The follower actually see’s the leader’s behavior as bad, but cannot afford to lose their position. In spite of the bad leadership, these followers are being compensated – through position, prestige, and income – in a way that they would not be in any other organization. They don’t stay because they want to; they stay because they have to.

I have had the privilege of having had several mentors. Early in my career, the founder and CEO of the company I was working for took me under his wing. One of the many lessons I learned from him was: “Don’t defend a bad job.”

The lesson had to do with defending shabby work – either my own or that of someone who worked for me. The basic lesson was this: own the problem. Don’t deny that it exists. Do whatever you can to fix it.

I think that’s a good lesson for followers: “Don’t defend a bad job.” Don’t deny problems with a leader’s behavior. Do what you can to help the leader.

I realize that this can be difficult. Often when a leader is derailing, he or she is not open to feedback and those who raise questions or attempt to confront the issues, are punished or dismissed.

Yet, to continue to support a derailing leader may require a follower to compromise their own integrity.

It’s a tough call, but: Abandon the mission before you abandon your integrity.

The Benefits of Margin - Part 2

2010-07-05T01:34:00.001-05:00

These days, the calendar has lots of open space. Scheduled appointments and meetings are few and far between. This works very well for a person who likes to be spontaneous, and having margin means you can respond quickly to opportunities.

Like a couple of weeks ago: My friend Mark emailed me that he was in town that day. The email came in around 9:00 and we had lunch that day.

That was actually the start of a great week. Tuesday I had coffee with an executive I am coaching. Then had lunch with Jon - one of the Sunday Men.

On Wednesday I spent the afternoon with two more executive coaching clients.

I had lunch with Justin on Thursday. That afternoon, I went to see Toy Story 3 with Laura, Jennifer, Shannon, Landrie & Karsyn (5 of the seven significant ladies in my life).

On Friday afternoon, I had another executive coaching session.

When the week began, I only had 2 things planned. By the end of the week, I'd had one of the best - and fullest - weeks I've had in a while.

There's a lesson here:

Margin provides freedom. But with that freedom comes the responsibility to use it wisely and invest in others.

I think I will call that the stewardship of margin.

The Benefits of Margin - Part 1

2010-07-02T13:13:00.004-05:00

These days I have a lot of margin in my schedule. One of the benefits of this is that I am getting a lot of reading done.

I try to vary the reading so that it is balanced: History, Biography, Leadership, Theology, and some novels. Laura always gets concerned when I read with a pencil in my hand. She knows that it is not "light" reading when I underline and write in the margins.

I have also developed the habit of reading more than one book at a time. I have books I read in the morning during my "quiet time." (By the way - I don't like that phrase. Its way too churchy for me, but I don't know what else to call it. If you have suggestions for an alternate label, please let me know). I just finished another of the John MacArthur Old Testament studies - Losing the Promised Land. I am not sure what I will read next in this slot.

Then I have books I read when I am riding the bike at the gym. Yes, I do that - because I need something to keep my mind occupied for 45-60 minutes. The current gym book is What is God Really Like? It is edited by Craig Groeschel and contains several chapters written by pastors who participate in the One Prayer project.

Then I have books I read at night. I read myself a bedtime story. Right now, I am alternating between a novel: The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and a biography: John Adams. These books are competing for my attention; the dragon tattoo has been winning the last few days.

After 25 years of being gainfully overemployed, having so much margin has required some adjustments on my part. I am finding a new normal in a schedule that is not packed wall-to-wall with meetings, presentations, and other events. Actually, this new normal fits my preference for non-structured and spontaneous living very well.

I am blessed to have margin.

Bad Leadership - Part 1

2010-06-11T07:21:00.012-05:00

“Watch out now, take care
Beware of greedy leaders
Who take you where you should not go.”

(from George Harrison, Beware of Darkness)

The desire to be a positive and impactful leader has created an entire industry on leadership development. The content of the vast majority of leadership development offerings is based on the skills that we need to develop.

While books and seminars may be helpful, there is nothing like experience for teaching us how to lead. And if we have a learning mindset, we can learn in any situation – including bad ones. In fact, I think I learned more from bad leaders than good ones. I learned what not to do.

In her book, Bad Leadership, Harvard professor Barbara Kellerman develops a framework for understanding several forms of ineffective and/or unethical leadership.

While the book emphasizes leadership, she makes a compelling case concerning the role of followers in creating, allowing, and perpetuating bad leadership.

The seven types of bad leadership are:

1. Incompetent: The leader and some of his/her followers lack the will or skill to sustain effective action.

2. Rigid: The leader and his/her followers are stiff, unyielding, and unwilling to adapt to new ideas, new information or changing times.

3. Intemperate: The leader lacks self-control and is aided and abetted by followers who do not intervene.

4. Callous: The leader is uncaring or unkind; he/she ignores or discounts the needs of the rest of the organization, or of stakeholders.

5. Corrupt: These leaders lie, cheat, or steal their way to the top position putting self interest above all else.

6. Insular: They disregard or minimize the health and welfare of those outside the core group.

7. Evil: Some leaders and their followers commit atrocities and/or tragedies.

Legacy Marriage

2010-06-04T05:24:00.004-05:00

One of the big ideas I have learned over the last several years is that God blesses us so that we can be a blessing to others.

Too often we see only the material blessings. But one area where I have experienced tremendous blessing is in my relationships.

And the greatest relationship I have is with my Proverbs 31 woman! For 31+ years now I have been blessed to have a great marriage. And it just keeps getting better all the time.

Because we have been blessed in our marriage, we have a passion to bless others with the principles that have guided us and the lessons we have learned. For over 20 years, we have sought opportunities to invest intentionally in the lives of younger couples. This has been fleshed out in a variety of venues: Sunday school classes, classes taught at our church, small group settings in homes, and retreats we facilitated for couples. But perhaps the greatest venue in which we have done this is simply doing life with our couple friends.

Late last fall, I began to explore a vision of intentionally investing in other couples who would then invest in other couples. Those of you familiar with my Legacy Logic concept will recognize this pattern. But its not original with me. Paul gave similar instructions to Timothy (2 Timothy 2:2):

"The things which you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses, entrust these to faithful men who will be able to teach others also."

As this vision developed, I began to think about this in terms of Legacy. I know … that doesn’t surprise anybody. But, Legacy Marriage really seemed to be a good name for this ministry.

So let me give you my definition of Legacy Marriage:

A Legacy Marriage is a marriage that is a blessing to us now, and that will be a blessing to others for generations to come.

I shared my emerging vision with The Sunday Men and they enthusiastically affirmed the idea. So, this spring The Sunday Men became the Sunday Couples for a season and we worked our way through some key scriptures that provide a solid foundation for building the kind of marriage that blesses us as a couple, blesses our children, our grandchildren, blesses those around us, and that will be a blessing for generations to come.

The first eight installments of Legacy Marriage are:

God’s Blueprint for Marriage (Genesis 2:18-25)

Preparing the Soil, Laying the Foundation (Psalm 127:1; Proverbs 24:3-4; Genesis 2:24-25)

Framing the Relationships: Roles and Responses (Ephesians 5:21-33; Mark 10:35-45; Titus 2:1-5)

What Every Marriage Needs to Succeed

The Principle of Reciprocity (Ephesians 5:21-33; Philippians 2:3-4)

Love Languages

How to Have a Good Fight (Ephesians 4:25-32)

Bricks That Build a Marriage (1 Peter 3: 1- 9 )

As we worked our way through these lessons, I prepared two sets of documents. Set one is the discussion guide for the participants. The second set is the teaching notes for the facilitator. Its my prayer than some of these couples will now take this material and teach it to other couples. Over the summer I plan to develop at least four more lessons in this series.

And, I hope to invest in another set of couples soon, who will then apply the Legacy Marriage principles in their home and then pass it on to others.

The Sunday Men - Part 3

2010-05-31T01:49:00.002-05:00

The Sunday Men have been meeting for 3 years now. As we take a break this summer, I am reflecting on where we have been … and thinking about where we should go from here.

Here’s what we’ve done in our studies since the fall of 2007:

Legacy Leadership: The Leadership Wisdom of the Apostle Paul

James

Your Work Matters to God (Doug Sherman)

1 Peter

The Measure of a Man (Gene Getz)

Philippians

Our format has been a facilitated discussion. We study, ask and answer questions, and apply the scriptures to our lives.

The discussions have been richly stimulating as we have wrestled with understanding and applying God's Word to our lives.

Our trip through the four chapters of Philippians took 14 weeks! It was the third time I have led a group through that wonderful epistle in the last twenty years. And I am pretty sure there were some new verses added this time that weren't there before!

What a wonderful experience to get to do life with a group of men who are passionate about making a difference for Christ' sake!

The Sunday Men - Part 2

2010-05-28T01:48:00.005-05:00

Take J.Lee to W0rk

I always said that if I was ever to become a pastor, one of the things I would like to do is visit the members of the flock in their work environments.

Early on in the life of The Sunday Men, I announced that I would like to schedule a time with each of them. I wanted to come to their work place and take a tour of the place where they spend such a significant portion of their time and energy. I wanted to understand their world, their passions, and their challenges. My purpose was to enter in to their world so that I would be able to more effectively invest in each of them.

Well, in what I now realize is Sunday Men protocol, this initiative received a name: “Take J.Lee to Work.”

You can take your daughter to work, you can take your son to work, and now you can take J.Lee to work.

This project exceeded my expectations as I learned more about each man and learned about new businesses and industries. This was great way to help me make my intentional investment in these men even more effective.

The Sunday Men - Part 1

2010-05-25T05:54:00.002-05:00

Several days ago I was doing some clean up in my study at home. I came across a folded piece of paper with several names written in a circle. It took me a few seconds, but then I realized that it was the seating chart that Marc had prepared for me after the first meeting of a group of guys that had gathered for a Bible study they had asked me to lead. I walked into a stranger’s house that morning and only knew 1 person in the entire group.

They are no longer strangers and over the next few posts, I want to share with you some of my thoughts about these men ...

In the Spring of 2007, I had the opportunity to attend the LEAD program at Dallas Theological Seminary. LEAD is an acronym for Leadership Evaluation and Development.

This is an intensive 5-day leadership development retreat that provides coaching for couples in three areas: Marriage, Ministry, and Career. The program requires intensive pre-work that includes a battery of assessments, the preparation of a detailed life map, and a 360 evaluation. One of the outcomes is the preparation of a strategic life plan based on your experiences and your gifts. We had to write goals for the next 5 years of our life.

One of my goals was to begin intentionally investing in younger men.

It was one of those things that I was compelled to write down, but wasn’t sure how it would be actualized or implemented. So, I gave that goal to God in prayer and waited.

In August of that year, I received an email from my friend Marc. He said that he and some of his friends had a desire to start a Bible study. He had contacted our pastor who suggested that Marc contact me to see if he could use my Legacy Leadership study. Knowing my schedule during that season, Marc timidly asked if I might be interested in leading them through those materials.

And then he said that the best – in fact, the only - time that would work for them was Sunday mornings at 8AM!

Yuk! If you know anything about me at all, you know that I am NOT a morning person.

I came downstairs and said to Laura, “You won’t believe the email I just got from Marc.” I told her about his request and Laura’s response was “Sunday morning??? That’s your only downtime.”

And then without any hesitation she added, “But that’s your passion!”

Indeed it is, and it was an answer to the goal I had written down three months earlier at the LEAD session.

So we began a Bible study with a group of men who are executives and key leaders in their organizations – men of position and power who want to use their influence to make a difference for the Lord’s sake in their work, their churches, their communities, and their families.

I call them The Sunday Men.

Five Slides for Thinking About Church

2010-05-18T09:27:00.003-05:00

Legendary CEO Jack Welch suggests that we should be able to boil a strategy down to a Five Slide presentation that answers the following questions:

What does the Playing Field Look Like Now?
What has the Competition Been Up To?
What have You Been Up To?
What's Around the Corner?
What's Your Winning Move?

I like this approach and in fact we teach our students to answer these questions as a way of presenting their strategic analysis in our graduate level Strategic Management classes.

Over the last several months, I have been re-thinking several issues concerning the local church. Specifically, I have been wrestling with what it means to be a “Biblically Functioning Church.”

Now, let me be clear, I am not necessarily talking about issues of doctrine – although there are some doctrinal issues that inform this quest.

As I have been wrestling with this issue, I have developed my own version of the 5 Slides:

Slide 1: What is your governing structure? This is about accountability. Is there a local body of elders who are accountable for the teaching and ministry of the church?

Slide 2: What is your leadership philosophy? Lording Authoritarian or Servant Leadership? Command and Control or Empowering and Releasing? How are staff members treated? How are volunteers treated?

Slide 3: What is your stewardship philosophy? Do you live beneath your means and are you generous? How does your stewardship of resources reflect the priorities of ministry? Is there a transparency in the preparation and reporting of the budget? How do you pay vendors who provide services for the church? Are they paid in full and on-time?

Slide 4: How is your commitment to making disciples manifested in the activities and programs of your church? How is your commitment to reaching lost and unchurched people in your community demonstrated? Is there a balance between evangelism and discipleship?

Slide 5: If someone with the gift of pastor-teacher joined your church, how would you deploy them in serving? This could apply to any gift. How will the spiritual gifts of the people in your church be used to serve God and His people?

The answers to these questions will help you determine if the church is indeed a “Biblically Functioning Church”?

Moral Authority

2010-05-06T04:01:00.000-05:00

As you know, one of my favorite leaders is Andy Stanley. His books The Next Generation Leader and Visioneering have been required reading in the advanced MBA courses I teach.

In this months edition of Catalyst there's a short video of Andy talking about a crucial matter of importance to all leaders.

Take a few minutes to watch and listen.

Do you have moral authority?

Books of April

2010-05-05T05:39:00.000-05:00

April was a good month for reading.

Of course, that long flight to and from Maui helped. Thank you Justin and Shannon!

The Blessed Life, Robert Morris
Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, Jamie Ford
The Christian Atheist, Craig Groeschel
A House Divided, John MacArthur
The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, David Wroblewski
The Priesthood of Every Believer, David Dawson

Planning on a lot of novels this summer.

The stack has been created and is waiting!

The Road to Derailment - Part 2

2010-05-04T01:19:00.000-05:00

Several years ago I made an observation about the various televangelist that I found so appalling in their greed and manipulation. Often when questioned about their motives and methods, they responded by saying that they were only accounatable to God.

My observation was this: When a man says he's only accountable to God, its just a matter of time before he falls.

I have seen this pattern repeat itself over and over.

Certainly as leaders, we are accountable to God. But we are also accountable to each other. The Apostle Paul was clear about this in 1 Thessalonians 2:10-12:

"You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory."

We are accountable to God. But He also brings other people into our lives to help administer that accountability. Unfortunately, leaders on the path to derailment allow arrogance to take root and refuse to hear the wise counsel of those who are trying to tell them about their blindspots.

As leaders we need to hear the voice of those who love and care enough about us and warn us. We need to keep listening even when its painful.

Dietrich Bonoeffer said that "When a man stop's listening to his brother, its simply a matter of time before he stops listening to God."

Are you still listening to your brother?

Are you still listening to God?

Just Maui'd

2010-05-03T09:25:00.008-05:00

We had a great week in Maui conducting and celebrating Justin and Shannon's wedding!

What an honor to get to do the ceremony for them.

And what a place!

I always thought that the Garden of Eden where God Himself conducted the very first wedding was a forest-type environment with lots of green foilage.

But now I think it might have been on Makena Beach in Maui with the waves crashing against the lava rocks in the background.

I am so happy for Justin and Shannon!

I always wanted 4 daughters and I couldn't have asked for a better addition to the family!

ROAD TRIP!

2010-04-12T10:34:00.005-05:00

“I wish I was in Austin
In the Chili Parlor Bar
Drinkin' Mad Dog Margaritas
And not carin' where you are”

For several years now I have wanted to experience this line from Guy Clark’s Dublin Blues.

Well …

Saturday afternoon Jennifer, Jordan and I drove to Austin to deliver on their birthday present: we had tickets to the Elton John concert Saturday night!

Before the concert we met our friend Nicci for dinner.

Then we drove over to the Erwin center and encountered a huge traffic and parking jam. Fortunately, my dear “Old Friend” Rick provided complementary parking at his facility on San Jacinto. Thanks Rick!

Seeing Elton John was at the top of Jordan’s Bucket List. So, we bought these tickets for her and Jennifer as their birthday present in March. I am not sure I have ever seen so much anticipation and excitement in my life. And when Elton came on stage Saturday night, I was seriously worried for the health and safety of all the people sitting around us!

All the anticipation was well worth it. This concert was by far the greatest live performance I have ever seen. For right at 3 hours, Elton played his guts out. The band actually took a couple of breaks, but he played on. A tremendous performance by a truly gifted artist!

And after the concert ... we went to the Chili Parlor Bar and drank a Mad Dog Margarita!

" A good idea at the time; I won’t be doing that again," but I will sing that line from Guy’s song with special affection from now on.

The Road to Derailment - Part 1

2010-04-06T02:52:00.001-05:00

Sadly, I have been watching some very influential leaders derail over the last couple of years. Its tragic ... and it could have been avoided.

All of us who take on the role of leadership are susceptible to derailment. So, I think its important to share some important preventive measures. To do this I am going to build on an acrostic I learned at the Fellowship of Christian Athletes camp in Estes Park Colorado in August of 1974.

(When Laura reads this she will say: "How is it you can remember something from August 1974, but you can't remember what I said 10 minutes ago?" So let me go ahead and make a preemptive plea: Guilty as charged.)

I don't remember who was speaking that August night, but he shared an important principle used by people in recovery groups: The H-A-L-T principle. Never get too hungry, too angry, too lonely, or too tired. When we are in any of those conditions, we are particularly vulnerable.

I want to expand the acrostic as a derailment preventative for leaders:

H-A-L-T-E-R.

H: Never get too hungry. Don't let your physical hungers get out of hand. We understand that. Satisfied needs are not motivators, and unsatisfied needs are powerful motivators. But beyond physical hungers, don't let your hunger for positions get out of hand. And don't let your hunger for possessions lead you to be too greedy. Hungry leaders are vulnerable to temptations.

A: Never get too angry. The Apostle Paul offers great advice on this in Ephesians 4:26-27: “Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity.” Keep short accounts, resolve conflict constructively, and if its not a federal case, don't make a federal case out of it.

L: Never get too lonely. As leaders, we must not allow the stress of the job and the pace of our schedules prevent us from nurturing our most significant personal relationships with our spouse and our family.

T: Never get too tired. The race we are called to as leaders is a marathon, not a sprint. We must pace ourselves so that we can stay in and finish the race we have been called to. We must learn to allow ourselves the discomfort of taking time off. The organization will not go broke and no one will die if we commit to taking a date night once a week, a weekend get away once a quarter, and a full - technology free - vacation once a year. When we are depleted, our fuses are short and our decision making suffers.

E: Never get too entitled. Success brings it own downside for many leaders. After working hard to attain positions and build organizations, many leaders often feel they deserve extra benefits and compensation. Often, they begin feeling entitled to extra perks that often are in violation of accepted standards or prudent stewardship of the organization's resources.

R: Never get to remote. Leaders who lose touch with those they lead are setting themselves up to falter. I have challenged city managers and university presidents on this issue. Too often as leaders move up in their organizations they forget where they came from and lose touch with the people in the trenches. This isolation isn't healthy relationally and it also cuts off an important flow of information. Remote and isolated leaders are out of touch with the pulse - the heartbeat - of the organization. This becomes even more acute in organizations that consciously filter the information flowing to the top. The "palace guard" keeps the leader from knowing what's really going on.

Do you have a derailment halter?

Servant Leader or Self-Serving Leader?

2010-04-05T05:37:00.001-05:00

Leading Like Jesus

"You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them; and their great men exercise authority over them."But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

Servant leadership was modeled by Jesus and is applicable to every arena of our lives:

Family – as Spouses and Parents
Church - serving God by serving people
Work – with or without formal authority

When we embrace the concept of servant leadership, we will understand that it is:

A Responsibility, not a Rank

Involves Sacrifice at the expense of Selfishness

Is a Duty, and there is no room for Domination

Is Intentional about Developing Others

Is Measured by Changed Lives

Are you a servant leader or a self-serving leader?

The Books of March

2010-04-04T19:28:00.001-05:00

The reading pace has slowed significantly. I haven't found anything really exciting in a while. This is the list from March:

Roses, Leila Meachum
Credibility: How Leaders Gain it and Lose It and Why People Demand It, Jim Kouzes and Barry Posner
The End of an Era, John MacArthur
Leading When it Hurts, Jeff Iorg

The new book from Craig Groeschel came Friday - The Christian Atheist: Believing in God but Living as if He Didn't Exist. I am excited about that one. Groeschel is a very authentic speaker and author.

I am close to finishing a good novel, On the Corner of Bitter and Sweet.

Appearance vs Reality

2010-03-21T10:03:00.003-05:00

Several years ago my wife and I attended the live broadcast of an early morning news show on one of the major networks. We were excited to see the people we watch every morning up close and personal. Being in the studio that morning we were able to see how the show was put on. And we were able to see the stars of the show when the cameras were rolling and when they weren’t.

Perhaps I was naive, but what I saw deeply disappointed me. The lead anchor was aloof and rude to the support staff during the commercial breaks when the cameras weren’t rolling. She then transformed herself completely when the show returned to the live broadcast. The person we had been watching, and admiring, every morning for years wasn’t the same person when the cameras weren’t on.

This episode reminds me of some “advice” that Machiavelli provided in The Prince, his class book on the acquisition and retention of power.

“A prince, therefore, need not necessarily have all the good qualities I mentioned above, but he should certainly appear to have them. I would even go so far as to say that if he has these qualities and always behaves accordingly he will find them harmful; if he only appears to have them they will render him service. He should appear to be compassionate, faithful to his word, kind, guileless, and devout. A prince, then, must be very careful not to say a word which does not seem inspired by the five qualities I mentioned earlier. To those seeing and hearing him, he should appear a man of compassion, a man of good faith, a man of integrity, a kind and a religious man. And there is nothing so important as to seem to have this last quality.

Men in general judge by their eyes rather than by their hands; because everyone is in a position to watch, few are in a position to come in close touch with you. Everyone sees what you appear to be, few experience what you really are. The common people are always impressed by appearances and results.”

I don’t know about you, but I have an internal radar that helps me spot a fake. Something in me seems to prompt me when someone isn’t sincere. They just don’t seem real. Everything they say and do comes across as an act. They seem to be performing a role and I am left wondering who they really are.

Leaders worth following do not engage in this kind of masquerade. Rather, they seek to live out the values they proclaim. While no leader is without gaps between their espoused and enacted values, legacy leaders constantly strive for a level of consistency. The appearance and the reality are lined up. There is no masquerade.

The Leadership Account - Part 3

2010-03-10T05:39:00.004-06:00

Now that we have created our T-Account for Leadership and made the debits, we need to look at the credits.

Leadership is an Asset account. The normal balance is a debit balance. To increase the Leadership Account we debited. Now we are reducing - taking away - from the account, so these will be credits. These credits identify the behaviors and attitudes that need to be subtracted from every leader's life.

Again, we will be referencing The Legacy Leadership passage in 1 Thessalonians 1:2-2:12.

As I read this passage, I see 4 things that need to be subtracted. In fact, they should be absent from the Legacy Leader's account.

Deception: In the Greek, the phrase “by way of deceit” refers to trickery. Originally, it referred to using bait to catch fish. While we certainly want to use bait that hides the hook to catch fish, as Legacy Leaders our message and our methods should by pure. No hidden agenda, no bait and switch.

Flattery: Flattery has the idea of using remarks as means of obtaining some personal gain and involves the use of insincerity to persuade another to do what you want them to do. When Paul states that he “never came with flattering speech,” he denied that he was a smooth-talking preacher telling people what they wanted to hear. Thus, Paul asserts that he was not trying to make a favorable impression to obtain some personal advantage. He did not pursue goals that would meet with the approval of people or seek their praise for himself. While he and the other apostles may have deserved and received praise, that was not their motive.

Greed: As Legacy Leaders we should never come “with a pretext for greed.” Pretext refers to a mask that conceals the real motive. The word refers to the idea of putting forth something that is plausible, that may in fact be true in itself, but is not the real reason for performing an act. Again the idea of deception is at work here.

Greed refers to an inordinate desire to possess more and more. Greed doesn't stop with healthy competition. It goes way past that and becomes an obsession with more - more money, more territory, larger crowds, bigger buildings, and even greed for more personal attention and fame. Like any addiction, greed is never satisfied and it takes more and more to satisfy its demand. Greed in any and all of its forms is ugly and derails many leaders.

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul takes this on by saying that greed, among other things, should not even be named among us (Ephesians 5: 3-4).

Lording Authoritarianism: When some of the disciples were debating among themselves about who would sit where in the Lord's coming Kingdom, Jesus confronted their self-centered concerns by pointing to the Gentiles whose leaders "lorded it over them." Then, he continued by telling them, "It should not be so among you."

I have worked for some bosses - I won't call them leaders - who "lorded it over" me and my coworkers. They yelled, threatened, demanded and relied on the power to fire us to get us to do their bidding. In the short run this may work: We complied to avoid punishment; but, there was no long-term commitment.

Those of us who hold leadership positions certainly have legitimate power bases because of our formal authority. But, Legacy Leaders don’t rely on their formal authority. They understand that the best influence comes when we don't assert our authority.

Paul understood this. The phrase “even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority” refers to demands he might have made on the Thessalonians for physical and financial support. Rather than doing this, Paul worked night and day so as not to be a burden. He lived on what he earned as a tent-maker and the offerings from the Philippians. By earning his own way, Paul further demonstrated the purity of his motives which, in turn, gave him a platform for influence that did not rely on the authority of his title or position.

He reiterates this point and again emphasizes it in his second letter to the Thessalonians the importance of leaders modeling the behavior they seek to see developed in their followers. In 2 Thessalonians 3:7–9, Paul says:

“For you yourselves know how you ought to follow our example, because we did not act in an undisciplined manner among you, nor did we eat anyone’s bread without paying for it, but with labor and hardship we kept working night and day so that we would not be a burden to any of you; not because we do not have the right to this, but in order to offer ourselves as a model for you, so that you would follow our example”[emphasis added].

Examine your Leadership Account.

Are there some attitudes and behaviors that need to removed?

The Leadership Account - Part 2

2010-03-08T18:24:00.001-06:00

Now that you have created your T-account for Leadership, we need to start making some entries into that account.

Today’s entries will be based on things we need to add to the account. Remember, Leadership is an asset account, and we are adding these to the account. So, these will be debits.

As a context for us, I would like you to read what I call “the Legacy Leadership passage” in Paul’s 1st letter to the Thessalonians 1: 1 Thessalonians 1:2-2:12

“For our exhortation does not come from error or impurity or by way of deceit; but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not as pleasing men, but God who examines our hearts. For we never came with flattering speech, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed--God is witness-- nor did we seek glory from men, either from you or from others, even though as apostles of Christ we might have asserted our authority.

But we proved to be gentle among you, as a nursing mother tenderly cares for her own children. Having so fond an affection for you, we were well-pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God but also our own lives, because you had become very dear to us. For you recall, brethren, our labor and hardship, how working night and day so as not to be a burden to any of you, we proclaimed to you the gospel of God.

You are witnesses, and so is God, how devoutly and uprightly and blamelessly we behaved toward you believers; just as you know how we were exhorting and encouraging and imploring each one of you as a father would his own children, so that you would walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory."

As I read this account I see several positive characteristics that need to be added to our leadership account:

Sensitivity to Needs: Legacy Leaders are aware of the needs of their constituents and work hard so as not to add to their burden. This awareness is possible because Legacy Leaders are “among you.” There aren't barriers and a great deal of distance between the leader and those they are leading.

Sincere Affection for People: Legacy Leaders are genuinely interested in the people they serve through their leadership. Paul was a rough and tumble kind of guy, yet he was totally transparent in his affection for these people. In contrast to the many macho pseudo-leaders we see today, Paul was comfortable displaying the gentleness and “fond affection" that characterizes a “nursing mother tenderly caring for her own children.”

Authentic Engagement: Because Paul was among the Thessalonians, he could call on them as character witnesses of the type of life he lived because they saw him up close and personal. He not only shared the gospel with them, but his own life as well. This is a great picture of the vulnerability with which Legacy Leaders interact with the people they lead.

Enthusiastic Encouragement: Legacy Leaders are intensely intentional in helping people grow and become all that God designed them to be. Like a father, Paul was encouraging, exhorting, and imploring “each one” of the Thessalonians.

This tells me he was actively involved with each individual and customized his approach to meet their specific needs. Yet, he was always clearly focused on his intent: “so that you may walk in a manner worthy of the God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory."

This demonstrates the definition of Legacy Leadership: Legacy Leadership is intentional influence that takes place in the context of a relationship.

Can you book these characteristics in your Leadership Account?

The Leadership Account - Part 1

2010-03-04T09:08:00.008-06:00

The first C that I made in school came during my first semester in the MBA program at The University of Texas at Arlington.

I made a false assumption that because I was pretty good in math, I would do well in accounting. Bad assumption! I could not figure out why when you increased some accounts you debited them, while increasing other accounts you credited them. Why couldn’t they be consistent???

When the report card for that semester came, I was pretty sure the sun wouldn’t come up the next day. I was devastated.

A few years later, I was teaching economics at Tarrant County Junior College - One class, two nights a week, at the way-out-there Northwest Campus. So, I asked if there was another class that I could teach on those nights to make the drive more worthwhile. They said, “Well we have a Principles of Accounting class. Would you like to teach that?” I immediately responded, “Sure. I can do that!”

Well … You don’t really learn something until you to teach it to someone else.

Fortunately for me, the text had a chart on the rules of normal balance for all of the different types of accounts. It also showed what to do – debit or credit – if you were increasing or decreasing that account. Finally, the logic of accounting began to make sense to me!

I don’t know how many times I repeated these phrases that semester:

"What kind of account is it?" Class Response in Unison: "It’s an asset."

"What are we trying to do?" Class Response in Unison: "Increase it."

"So what do we need to do?" Class Response in Unison: "Debit the account!"

Now when you read “Class Response in Unison” you need to think about the scene from Leave it to Beaver:

Ms. Landers: “Good Morning Class”
Class Response in Unison: “Good Morning Ms. Landers!”

Now that y’all are up to speed on accounting, I would like to apply your understanding to leadership. If we were accounting for Leadership, how would we “book it”?

Well, “What kind of account is Leadership?”
In unison now: “It’s an Asset Account.”

Very good. As leaders there are several things we need to add to our account. Those will be debit entries. And there are several things that need to be subtracted. Those will be credits. And because leadership is an asset account, the normal balance for the Leadership Account is a debit.

In my next few posts I will be discussing the Leadership Account. So, go ahead and create a T-Account labeled Leadership.

We will walk our way through some important journal entries that all of us as leaders need to make.

Before we do, let me ask:

What is the balance in your Leadership Account?

Reading 2010 So Far

2010-03-03T08:21:00.005-06:00

It’s been a while since I posted a list of the books I have read.

In fact, it's been a while since I have posted anything. The situation that prompted my Amen or Oh Me post has been dominating my thoughts for several weeks. On that situation I have finally settled on Oh Me!

Now for books. As you know, I read a variety of books. I am not a speed reader, but I am a persistent reader. I read every weekday morning during my quiet time. I read on the "cardio days" at the gym while riding the stationary bike. And, I read every night before I go to sleep.

I wasn’t always a reader. I think I caught the reading bug as a student at Austin College. There was a ton of required reading, but I also found myself wanting to dig deeper into the subjects and began reading beyond the requirements. And of course now, I read for a living!

Here’s what I have read so far.

More accurately, this is what I have finished so far this year. In accordance with generally accepted accounting principles, I only record a book as read when it is completed. Some books, like Theodore Rex are multiple month endeavors. Some are multiple year endeavors!

I highly recommend the books that are italicized and bold-faced. Beware: Theodore Rex will require a long march, but it is well worth it. Theodore Roosevelt emerged from that book as my favorite presidential leader!

Books 2010

January
1. Crazy Love, Frances Chan
2. Derailed, Tim Irwin
3. Primal: A Quest for the Lost Soul of Christianity, Mark Batterson
4. Just Walk Across the Room, Bill Hybels
5. Finally in the Land, John MacArthur
6. Lifetime Guarantee, Bill Gillham

February
1. Fascinating Lives of Forgotten Saints, Chuck Swindoll
2. Prophets, Priests, and Kings: The Lives of Samuel and Saul, John MacArthur
3. Theodore Rex, Edmund Morris
4. Holy Ambition, Chip Ingrum
5. Leadership: Influence that Inspires, Chuck Swindoll

Amen or Oh Me?

2010-02-10T17:37:00.000-06:00

Twenty years ago I attended a church that was pastored by a very dynamic speaker. He liked the congregation to interact with him as he was preaching and when he made an important point, he would ask “Amen or Oh Me?” The expectation of course was that we would respond with an affirming “Amen!”

It was new to me and very interesting. And for a while, I had no problem affirming his points. But then he took a disturbing turn in his preaching and I found myself thinking “Oh Me!” more and more frequently.

This culminated for me during a series of messages he preached on Ephesians chapter 6 where Paul encourages us to put on the “full armor of God.” If you’re familiar with this passage you know there are several pieces of this armor: Leg protection of truth, breastplate of righteousness, gospel shoes, shield of faith, and the helmet of salvation

The problem came when 4 weeks of messages were devoted to the idea that the “shield of faith” was God manifesting his power in and through the saints with signs and wonders. There is absolutely no way to interpret that passage as “signs and wonders.” The shield is a defensive weapon with a cork covering to extinguish the flaming arrows of the enemy. Yet, he continued to stress this, and ask the congregation to affirm this wrong teaching. When others would respond “Amen,” I had to say “Oh Me!”

We were seriously off course. I met with the pastor to discuss my concerns and told him clearly that he was off-base and had taught that passage completely out of context. He responded that the passage was “dripping with the power of God.” I said, “Maybe so, but there is absolutely no way that the shield is about signs and wonders.” As I persisted, he finally relented and said, “Maybe your right, but sometimes you have to stretch things some in order to bring people along.”

I was appalled. I told him he was wrong. We left that church right away.

But the whole episode taught me an important lesson: Too many people allow their pastors and teachers to study God’s word for them and tell them what it says. This is dangerous. Creative and charismatic communicators exert a lot of influence. Too often people are caught up in the delivery and don’t pause to examine the substance.

I think this episode has lessons for leaders and followers in any environment. First for leaders: we need to be fully aware of the esteem in which some people hold us, and we need to make sure we are worthy of that esteem. We also need to be aware of the power we have because of our position. People are dependent on us and we need to handle their dependence delicately. We need to be careful that we don't take advantage of people's esteem and approval. That's why I keep coming back to the "what is your motive?" theme.

The episode has implications for followers as well. Loyal followers don't follow blindly or unquestioningly. They follow with their eyes open and ask questions when things seem out of line. When a leader seems headed in the wrong direction, loyal followers raise a flag. Good followers don't let their leaders derail by not challenging them or failing to discuss their leader's blindspots.

This experience challenged me to rethink my own teaching. I realized that there are a lot of people who listen to – and even appreciate my teaching in the various venues in which I teach. But, I realized that I had a moral obligation to make sure that I was not abusing my position or taking advantage of their approval of me.

So, I decided that I would change my teaching approach to facilitate my students to interact with the text themselves, to make their own observations and interpretations, and not rely solely on me. My approach shifted to more of a facilitator role and less of a lecturer role. I began requiring my students to open their Bibles and study it for themselves.

I continue to be amazed at how so many smart people seem to check their minds at the door in two venues: the voting booth and the church.

We are told to love the Lord with our whole hearts, our whole souls, and our whole minds. We should use them.

And as Christ-followers we are given the gift of the Holy Spirit to assist our discernment. If we don't understand something, we are told to ask the Lord for wisdom. And we are promised that He will give it to us generously.

As followers, we really have no excuse for following blindly.

And as leaders, we have a moral obligation not to ask our followers to do so.

Amen or Oh Me?

Who are your people? Part 2

2010-02-08T05:13:00.000-06:00

"I don't know your people."

As many of you know, I have spent some time in the Cleveland Unit of the Texas State Prison system ministering to the men in the Prisoner Entrepreneurship Program (PEP).

I personally find the time I spend with those men refreshing. On several visits I have listened to men share their "story." There are two themes that run through theses stories. First, in almost every case these men grew up in homes where the father was absent - physically or emotionally. The men in the PEP program did not have a a strong male role figure in their life.

The absence of a father figure is probably related to the second theme. Absent a strong father figure, these boys sought affiliation with individuals and groups who would provide the acceptance and affirmation they weren't getting at home. And they chose the wrong people.

If you were to have asked these guys, "Who are your people?" the answer would not have led to a group of outstanding citizens. And those people had a profound, but negative impact on these young men. The consequences were devastating.

How might their lives have been different if they had an active father and were surrounded with the the right people?

Its easy to see these patterns in the lives of these men. But what about you and me? If we're not careful, we can surround ourselves with the wrong people, the wrong role models. If we're not careful we can have people in our lives that endorse wrong decisions and lead us to justify choices that we otherwise would not have made.

In just about every case of leader derailment that I am aware of, there are poor choices and bad decisions made by the leader. But, they are usually surrounded by people who endorse the behavior. In fact some of these people may even have told the leader they deserved, or were entitled to make the decisions that were made. In the worst cases, the poor decisions were actively supported. In the "best" cases, the people didn't challenge the decision patterns and allowed them to occur.

As followers we should be asking our leaders "Who are your people?" The answer could be telling. Who are the people the leader is surrounding themselves with?

As leaders, we need to evaluate "our people." Are they loyal enough to challenge me when they see me making mistakes or taking steps on a path that will lead to the wrong destination? Are "my people" willing to tell me no when I am wrong?

Who are your people?

Who are your people? Part 1

2010-02-05T20:59:00.002-06:00

My son went hunting with some friends a while back. They took a break and went in to a nearby small town for lunch. Justin didn't have any cash with him and the bar-b-q place didn't take credit cards. However, they did accept checks and he happened to have his checkbook with him.

When he offered to write a check for his lunch, the proprietor turned him down, saying "I don't know your people."

Justin had never heard that phrase. But having grown up in West Texas and frequented small towns like Breckenridge and Stamford as a child, I recognized the statement.

In those environments everyone knows everybody, and everyone knows your family - your people.

The phrase is a good reminder for all of us: Who are your people?

Who are the people in your inner circle? Who are the people you go to for advice and counsel? Who are the people you allow to challenge you? Who can ask you "What is your motive?" without you becoming defensive.

As leaders, we need these people in our life. We should seek them and cultivate them.

Bohicans

2010-02-05T04:33:00.000-06:00

In my last post I discussed the importance of creating a supportive environment where people can perform at their best: an environment where people flourish.

This type environment stands in stark contrast to toxic environments.

Toxic environments are created by those who practice the B-O-H-I-C-A style of managing: Bend Over, Here It Comes Again!

I thought I had worked for the last of the Bohicans when I left industry to return to graduate school in 1994. But I continue to run into pockets of Bohicans. They are a very resilient tribe!

Bohicans create toxic work environments that are characterized by negativity. These environments create fear, anxiety, and pessimism. Rather than expending energy on performing, people spend energy protecting themselves. Instead of committing to the organization's vision, mission, or goals, employees simply comply in order to avoid punishment.

Leaders who foster these environments drive people toward antagonistic relationships, anger, and hostility.

And good people leave.

When leaders create and perpetuate this kind of environment, the most talented employees will leave. Those who remain do so out of necessity rather than commitment and identification with the organization. This starts a downward spiral: As talent leaves, less talented people assume positions of authority. These people are often insecure and therefore perpetuate the bohica practices in an effort to assert their authority and keep people under their control.
They also tend to hire people who won't threaten them.

Toxic environments start at the top of the organization. Healing these environments requires a change at the top.

Either the leader needs to change or the organization needs to change leaders.

Lessons from Leland

2010-01-27T11:57:00.005-06:00

When I first became a manager, my dad told me that my job was to create an environment where people could perform.

When I began teaching, my dad told me that my job was to create an environment where people could learn.

The parallel advice was striking: As a leader and as a teacher the fundamental task is to create an environment where people can perform, learn, grow, flourish and become all that God designed them to be.

How do we create that environment?

Here are some ideas:

Get to know the people you are leading and teaching so that you can customize your leadership style to their needs. One style does not fit all!
Identify their strengths, their giftedness, and their passion.
Try to match their strengths, gifts, and passions with a job that will tap into those characteristics.
Encourage and support them.
Look for opportunities to stretch them.
Use delegation as a developmental tool.
Create the right environment by providing resources and opportunities.
Create the right environment by removing organizational obstacles that get in the way of them performing at their best.
Buffer them from the distractions of organizational politics and non-essential tasks.

As a leader, as a teacher, as a parent: "Create an environment where people can perform, learn, and grow."

Peter's Principles - Part 4

2010-01-26T08:35:00.003-06:00

How should we follow?

We often discuss how we should lead, but today I want to address another question: How should we follow?

I have been discussing Peter’s principles for leaders. But he also gives us some insights into how we should follow. So let’s unpack what Peter has to say in 1 Peter 5: 5-6:

“You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time.”

As I read that passage I see three things that ought to characterize me as a follower, and as a leader:

Submission: “Be subject to your elders.” The “S-word” isn’t popular in our culture. We like to be independent and autonomous; yet, God calls us to submit. I think there are two dimensions to this. The vertical dimension involves submitting to God. The horizontal dimension involves submitting to others. Paul echoes this in his letter to the Ephesians when he says “Submit to one another.”

Humility: “Clothe yourselves in humility toward one another.” Submission and humility really go hand in hand. Its all about putting the needs of others ahead of your own. Its about serving others, rather than being self-serving.

Paul says a similar thing in his letter to the Philippians:

“Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus.”

Let God do the Exalting: “Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time.”

Peter no doubt learned this first hand from Jesus who said, "For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Personally, I get annoyed at watching athletes flaunt themselves after every big play. Isn't that what they are supposed to do? Isn't that what the pros are paid to do?

As leaders, and as followers, we do not need to promote ourselves. If we’ve got the stuff, if we are being used by God, people will notice and we will be promoted. We need to ignore the me-first, self-promoting, narcissism of the world and let God do the promoting.

Do your work with excellence and leave the results – and the rewards, and the exalting to God.

Legacy Logic Part 2

2010-01-21T00:55:00.000-06:00

Each of us has had people who have invested deeply in our lives, in much the same way that Paul and his team invested in the Thessalonians. Just as Paul and his team put their stamp on the Thessalonians, we have had people who left their mark on us.

My list includes parents, teachers, coaches, professors, mentors, and my wife. Each of these people have invested deeply in me. I have tried to thank them in every way I can: in person, in notes and letters. Yet, every effort to thank them seems inadequate.

So I have decided that the best way to thank them is to be to others what they were to me. The best way to pay those who invested in me back is to pay it forward by investing in others.

Like the Thessalonians, we need to find models who are worthy of imitation. As we imitate them, we will then become an example for others to imitate. And as they imitate us, they become examples for others to follow. By doing so, they will perpetuate the process I call Legacy Logic.

I encourage you to express your gratitude to those who have invested in you. But if you’re like me, the best way to thank them is to pay it forward by investing in others.

• Consider the significant influences in your life. Who are the leaders you have been most influenced by?

• Thank God for placing them in your life.

• How could you thank that person?

• Send them a card or a letter thanking them.

• Schedule a lunch or dinner with them to thank them personally.

• Practice Legacy Logic: Now, … Pay it forward.

Legacy Logic Part 1

2010-01-20T00:30:00.002-06:00

As I study the leadership approach modeled by the Apostle Paul, I see that the idea of imitation was an important and recurring theme for him.

He offers himself a model of leadership for others to not just follow, but to imitate:

“Therefore I exhort you, be imitators of me.” (1 Corinthians 4:16)

“Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1)

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.” (Ephesians 5:1)

The word translated imitators in these verses is based on the Greek word mimetai from which the English term mimics is derived.

In his first letter to the church at Thessalonica, Paul commends them for the fact that they had become imitators of “us and the Lord.”

“You also became imitators of us and of the Lord, having received the word in much tribulation with the joy of the Holy Spirit, so that you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and Achaia.” (1 Thessalonians 1: 6-7)

Essentially, these followers were mimicking the attitudes and behaviors they had observed in Paul and his leadership team.

They took their mimicking to the next level because they became examples for others to follow. In the original Greek, typos, translated as example, refers to a seal that marked wax or a stamp that minted coins. The word originally denoted a mark made by a blow. The usage evolved and the word came to refer to any image whether stamped or not. The word has ethical significance when it is used as a pattern of conduct, or as it is in this text, as an example to be followed.

Paul and his team left their mark on the Thessalonians. Paul put his “stamp” on those he led.

Then, the Thessalonians followed this pattern and were leaving their mark – their stamp - on others.

Who are you leaving your mark on?

Who bears your stamp?

Peter's Principles Part 3

2010-01-16T02:45:00.001-06:00

Leader: What’s Your Motive?

As many of you know, I think this is THE question that leaders must answer. And we need people in our lives that we allow to ask us this question.

Let me reframe it slightly: Why do you want to be a leader?

In 1 Peter 5: 1-7, Peter gives us three benchmarks against which we need to evaluate ourselves:

• Not under compulsion, but voluntarily.

We should serve willingly, not because we feel forced or have been manipulated into accepting the position.

• Not for sordid gain, but with eagerness.

Many people seek leadership positions for the benefits and privileges that go with the position. Yet, there are tremendous responsibilities that accompany the position. Would-be leaders shouldn’t seek the position for the “gain” they may receive.

Several years ago I worked for a small, privately owned organization. The owner/president often took advantage of the organization’s resources, frequently depleting our cash for his personal needs. When I confronted him about this, he told be that was one of the benefits of owning your own company.

I challenged him on this by saying that while there are certainly benefits, what about the responsibilities? I reminded him that we had 23 employees who were counting on him to do the right thing.

Unfortunately, he failed to heed my warning. The company went bankrupt and many families suffered the consequences.

• Not as lording it over others, but proving to be an example.

I suspect Peter learned this lesson directly from Jesus discussion of servant leadership in Mark 10: 42-45:

"Calling them to Himself, Jesus said to them, "You know that those who are recognized as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them; and their great men exercise authority over them. "But it is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant; and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be slave of all. "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many."

“Lording it over” is an interesting phrase. It refers to an intense domineering over people. My experience with people like this has led me to believe that this is often a sign of some deep-rooted insecurity.

In contrast, we must think of ourselves as servants, not sovereigns.

We should be leaders who provide an example that is worthy of imitation.

So, why do you want to lead?

Peter's Principles Part 2

2010-01-11T01:21:00.001-06:00

Over the last several years I have noticed an interesting phenomena associated with leadership.

I call it the arrogance of affiliation.

It seems that when people are in a leader’s inner circle there is a sense of pride – even arrogance - that emerges. These people become very puffed up about their proximity to the leader and this proximity causes them to see themselves as somehow special and set apart.

These people become enamored with their position. They become arrogant and stand-offish, losing touch with the "common folk" they have been called to lead.

So it’s refreshing to see someone like Peter call for a more humble approach to leadership.

If anybody could have been boastful and puffed-up about their affiliation with a leader, Peter could have been. After all, he was a member of Jesus’ inner circle. He was up close and personal with Jesus for three years. Based on this, he could have boastfully asserted his authority.

Yet, instead, he identified himself as a “fellow” elder. He saw himself on the same level with the others and encouraged them to be among those they led.

Peter provides the remedy for the arrogance of affiliation in verses 5-6: “ … all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time."

Let the self-exaltation be replaced with humility.

Let the arrogance of affiliation be replaced with an attitude of humble service to others.

Peter's Principles Part 1

2010-01-07T07:38:00.000-06:00

It may surprise some of you to see me identifying leadership principles from an apostle not named Paul. But, the same inspiration was behind both men.

This is the first of several posts I will be making based on 1 Peter 5: 1-7. I encourage y'all to read and meditate on that passage. I will be unpacking this passage over the next several posts.

"Therefore, I exhort the elders among you, as your fellow elder and witness of the sufferings of Christ, and a partaker also of the glory that is to be revealed, shepherd the flock of God among you, exercising oversight not under compulsion, but voluntarily, according to the will of God; and not for sordid gain, but with eagerness; nor yet as lording it over those allotted to your charge, but proving to be examples to the flock."

A couple of summers ago we had an opportunity to visit Scotland with some of our friends, Tom and Donna. I'll put a plug in for their fantastic place that is 6 miles from St. Andrews. It is called Craigsanquhar House, and if you ever have a chance to go, it is a great place to stay.

One of the most interesting experiences we had on the trip came one day when we were returning to the manor house on a winding, one lane road. We turned a corner and almost ran into the small truck parked in the middle of the road. A few yards behind the truck, the road way was filled with sheep. Hundreds of sheep. They were moving the sheep from one pasture to another. Two people were running ahead of the herd closing gates so the sheep wouldn’t stray into the wrong area.

We sat there waiting for about twenty minutes waiting for the process to be completed. As we did so, we were totally surrounded by sheep. Every we looked, in every direction, there were sheep! We were 20-30 deep in sheep in all directions.

We were among the sheep! Up close and personal with hundreds of sheep.

So when Peter says that we are to shepherd the flock among us, this is the image I have.

We need to be among those we lead – up close, personal.

One other observation from this experience: There were millions of flies!

That comes with the territory of sheep. And it comes with the territory of leadership, too!

Leading people isn’t always easy. Sometimes it’s smelly and there a lot of flies, yet we are called to be among those we lead, - flaws, flies, and all!

As a leader, we need to realize: Sheep happens!

Date Week TRUMPED!

2010-01-05T05:41:00.000-06:00

Just when I think I have done a great thing with the Valentine Tree and Date Week. I get trumped!

And to make it worse, I was trumped by my own son!

On Saturday night, Justin asked Shannon to marry him. And she said YES!

We were actually in on the surprise. We lined the halls of our house with purple rose peddles and lit candles to light the path to the dining room. Justin’s sister made a sign asking the question, there was a bouquet of purple flowers, (Shannon’s favorite color is purple) and the engagement ring was on a pedestal.

While we were at church on Saturday night, Justin came by the house to “pick up some mail.”

We are so excited! I have never seen Justin smiling so brightly. In fact, he even said his cheeks were hurting from smiling so much. We’re all smiling too!

I always wanted four daughters. It took a while, but I am getting my wish.

Date Week

2010-01-04T09:22:00.003-06:00

Over the last several years Laura and I have started a tradition of sorts. We like to get away during the week between Christmas and New Year’s. The intensity and chaos of multiple Christmases is behind us and the decorations have been taken down and stored.

Yes – you read that correctly! The decorations have been up since a week or two before Thanksgiving, and they usually come down the day after Christmas.

This is actually part of the get away strategy. Laura enjoys the get away much more if she is not dreading the process of taking down the decorations when she comes home.

This year, as we were taking down the decorations, I noticed we had several gold hearts on the tree. I suggested that we take those and put them on the little Christmas tree we have in our bedroom and leave it up for a while as a Valentine Tree. In spite of the fact that our children gagged at the idea, we did it anyway!

In previous years we have gone to NYC, Fredricksburg, and the Hyatt Lost Pines resort during our get away week.

This year we stayed home. But, we turned it into a date week.

We went to three movies together The Blind Side, Its Complicated and Up in the Air.

By the way, as a former left tackle myself, and a charter member of the elite "Former Left Tackles Association," I highly recommend The Blind Side.

For New Year’s Eve, we did something random: We went to Priceline.com and said we wanted a 5 star hotel and that we were willing to pay $ 49. We got a great room at the Marriott near the Texas Motor Speedway. We also ate at Vidalia’s Southern Cuisine – outstanding shrimp and cheddar grits!

It was a great start to the new year.

I am always encouraging couples to be diligent in maintaining a date night routine. We set the bar for everyone by having a date week!

OUCH!

2009-12-30T08:32:00.002-06:00

I have often said that we need people in our lives who will tell us the truth and expose our blindspots.

For me, one of those people is my wife. She has a wonderful way of pointing out things that I don’t see.

It happened again this morning.

I was updating the list of books I have read this year. I mentioned to her that I had read 73 books this year.

Laura looked across the table and said: “You know what I have decided about you? You like the bragging rights! You like to brag about how many books you’ve read. You like to brag about how long you rode the bicycle during your workouts.”

Ouch!

But her observation made me wonder:

What is your motive for doing some of the things you do?
Are you only involved in those so you can tell others you are involved?
Are you just in it for the bragging rights?

When I pause and ponder those questions, I have to admit that my motive isn’t always pure. Too often, I do like to brag, I do like the attention.

Ouch!

But I am thankful that I have someone in my life who loves me enough to challenge my motives and reveal the stuff that’s in my blindspot.

Even when it hurts.

The Passion of a Professional

2009-12-29T05:12:00.000-06:00

In the book, Everything They Had: Sports Writing from David Halberstam, there is a great quote from Julius Erving:

"Being a professional is doing the things you love to do, on the days you don't feel like doing them."

Halberstam used the quote to explain his own passion for writing, whether it was about history or sports.

I get it. You see, I am a professional teacher.

I am so blessed that I get to do what I love to do - what God has gifted me to do - and earn a great living doing it.

But there are days when I just don't feel like doing it. On those days, I often reflect on the notes and comments I have received from students over the years. Many of those notes were sent when the student had no way of knowing that I was in a funk. I think the Lord knew and He prompted them to send the note.

And when I read those notes I am reminded - again - that its not about me. I am reminded of why I do this. And I apologize to God for forgetting what a blessing it is to get to earn a living doing what I love to do - even when I don't feel like it.

Your Personal Report Card

2009-12-28T07:03:00.000-06:00

I don't know about you, but for me the holiday season is usually a time for reflection, evaluation, and planning. Its a great time to give ourselves a "report card." Here's one I adopted from
Leading on Empty, Wayne Cordeiro's book, Leading on Empty.

This report card is essentially a personal “dashboard” that includes several gauges that monitor and measure the vital arenas of your life. The arenas represent the subsystems of life that are vital to our health and success.

The following arenas are suggested. The tool should be customized to fit your life situation. This evaluation should be done periodically. I would also suggest that you invite your spouse and other members of your inner circle to evaluate you in these areas.

Assign a letter grade for each arena. Be brutally honest with yourself. In addition to the letter grade you assign, write a few sentences that provide the basis for the grade assigned. Also, make notes on steps that need be taken to make improvements.

Faith Life

Marriage Life

Family Life

Work Life

Computer Life

Ministry Life

Financial Life

Social Life

Attitudinal Life

Physical Life

Other

Are there any arenas that require immediate maintenance and repair?

That Ought to Scare You

2009-12-27T01:54:00.001-06:00

One of the most disappointing new events of 2009 has to be the Tiger Woods fiasco. For the last several weeks every day brought a new revelation. Millions of fans have been disappointed.

To me its a great example of a quote from one of my favorite leadership authors, Andy Stanley:

“Character is not essential to leadership. But character is what makes you a leader worth following. Your talent and giftedness as a leader have the potential to take you farther than your character can sustain you… That ought to scare you.”

Andy Stanley, The Next Generation Leader

Another one of my favorite leadership authors also had something to say about this:

"Now these things happened to them as an example, and they were written for our instruction, upon whom the ends of the ages have come. Therefore, let him who thinks he stands take heed that he does not fall." (Paul, 1 Corinthians 10:11-13)

We set goals for the things we want to accomplish, yet we rarely set goals when it comes to developing our character. I think we should be as intentional about developing our character as we are about achieving material goals.

We also need to cultivate relationships with people who will challenge us and hold us accountable for those goals. We need a personal board of advisers that will challenge us - not enable us. We should invite their scrutiny and thank them for loving us enough to not let us destroy ourselves and the lives of those we love.

Remember:

"Your talent and giftedness as a leader have the potential to take you farther than your character can sustain you. That ought to scare you.”

Among Us - Part 2

2009-12-24T06:34:00.000-06:00

"And He said to them, 'The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them; and those who have authority over them are called 'Benefactors.' But it is not this way with you, but the one who is the greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the servant.

For who is greater, the one who reclines at the table or the one who serves? Is it not the one who reclines at the table? But I am among you as the one who serves."
(Luke 22: 25-27)

This may be one of the greatest passages on leadership ever written. So, let's put this in context.

There seems to have been an on-going debate among the disciples about their rank and position in the coming kingdom of God. This issue was particularly acute for James and John. At one point, even their mother came making a request that they be granted a special position in the coming kingdom.

(See Matthew 20:20-28. This is what I have come to call the "mother of a son syndrome." I became aware of this coaching little league baseball. The mothers were much more difficult to deal with than the dads. At the time, I was not aware that such behavior had a biblical basis!)

In response to their wish, Jesus turns the whole idea of leadership upside down. Rather than advocating headship based on formal authority that is "lorded over" the followers, he advocates a leadership that is based on service.

But service is not done at a distance. Note that He says "I am among you as the one who serves."

Not separate, not isolated, not protected by a hierarchy and multiple levels of filters and screens.

"I am among you."

I have had some pretty direct conversations with high ranking officials in organizations who liked to advertise their "open door" policy. While that might sound good, it is a reactive and passive approach to leading. In each of these situations there were multiple obstacles that actually deterred access to these people. In contrast I advocated - rather strongly - that they needed to get out of their office, get beyond the filters of their organizational hierarchy, and get out among the people of their organization.

The Lord Himself took the initiative to "get out of the office" and dwell among us.

I think that's a pretty good role model.

Reading Material

2009-12-23T05:23:00.001-06:00

I haven't posted my reading list since July. I didn't stop reading, I just didn't post the lists ... another symptom of "the fall" I experienced when the wheels came off during the autumn season.

So, here's the update/catch-up list of readings from August through December (so far):

August:

Oxygen, Carol Cassella

Shelter Me, Juliette Fay

The Tenth Circle, Jodi Picoult

A Passion for Faithfulness: Wisdom from the Book of Nehemiah, J.I. Packer

The Shadow of the Wind, Carlos Ruiz Zafón

Tinkers, Paul Harding (count =57)

September:

Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back, Charles R. Swindoll

Becoming a Resonant Leader: Develop Your Emotional Intelligence, Renew Your Relationships, Sustain Your Effectiveness

Richard E. Boyatzis, Fran Johnston, Annie McKee

Hedgehogs and Foxes: Character, Leadership, and Command in Organizations, Abraham Zaleznik

Await Your Reply, Dan Chaon

Before Abraham: Creation, Sin, and the Character of God, John MacArthur

October:

Laugh Again, Charles R. Swindoll

Mentoring Like Jesus, Regi Campbell

Have a Little Faith, Mitch Albom

November:

The Father of Israel: Trusting God’s Promises, John MacArthur

Everything They Had: Sports Writing from David Halberstam

Mercy, Jodi Picoult

The Time It Never Rained, Elmer Kelton

December:

Jacob and Egypt: The Sovereignty of God, John MacArthur

Icy Sparks, Gwyn Hyman Rubio

Vanishing Acts, Jody Picoult

Those in bold faced type are highly recommended.

Among Us - Part 1

2009-12-22T07:30:00.009-06:00

"BEHOLD, THE VIRGIN SHALL BE WITH CHILD AND SHALL BEAR A SON, AND THEY SHALL CALL HIS NAME IMMANUEL," which translated means, "GOD WITH US." (Matthew 1: 22-23)

"In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. ... And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us, and we saw His glory, glory as of the only begotten from the Father, full of grace and truth." (John 1: 1, 14)

As we celebrate the birth of Christ this week, I would like to consider the leadership implications of His coming.

There's a myth that permeates some leadership environments. Its the idea that the leader must be separated from those he or she leads. This involves keeping followers at arms length - or further. In the framework of culture analyst, Geert Hofstede, these leaders maintain a high power distance.

I don't agree.

For some time now, I have been defining leadership as intentional influence that takes place in the context of a relationship. Unpacking that definition shows that leadership is up close, its personal. It can not be done at a distance. It cannot be done effectively by maintaining a high power distance.

If God, the Creator and Sustainer of the universe decided to come and be with us and to dwell among us, how much more should we as human leaders choose to be with those we lead?

We too should be among those we lead.

My Proverbs 31 Woman

2009-11-24T09:50:00.005-06:00

31 years ago today I stood in the Marsh living room and exchanged wedding vows with Laura. It was a small, informal ceremony, but all the people who had been significant in my life up to that time were there.

I was nervous. In fact I was sweating so bad that I went outside to cool off. Laura’s dad came outside with me. I have always wondered if he thought I might be bolting at the last minute.

I didn’t bolt. And 31 years later I can say I would do it all over again!

What a wonderful life we have had together. And it just keeps getting better and better!

If you have been around us, you know that I often praise Laura and refer to her as “My Proverbs 31 Woman.”

Just in case you aren’t familiar with that concept, here’s some of the passage I am referring to:

10An excellent wife, who can find?
For her worth is far above jewels.

11The heart of her husband trusts in her,
And he will have no lack of gain.

12She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.

25Strength and dignity are her clothing,
And she smiles at the future.

26She opens her mouth in wisdom,
And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.

28Her children (and now her grand-children!) rise up and bless her;
Her husband also, and he praises her, saying:
29"Many daughters have done nobly,
But you excel them all."

An excellent wife, who can find?

I thank the Lord that I did.

Boldness Amid Opposition

2009-11-12T05:11:00.002-06:00

Leadership is about change. In fact, the phrase “change-agent” is often used to describe the work of a leader. Change is usually met with resistance if not outright opposition because leaders challenge the status quo. They challenge what is, and provide us a vision of a desirable future that appeals to our head and our heart. Yet, no matter how appealing that vision may be, change always creates stress and discomfort. In fact, change may create severe resistance and active opposition.

In spite of this opposition, leaders must have the courage to boldly continue to lead.

Paul exemplified this courageous persistence throughout his ministry. He states that “we had the boldness [italics added] in our God to speak to you the gospel of God amid much opposition [italics added]” (1 Thessalonians 2:2).

Leaders must be bold. But boldness is not bullying. Sometimes boldness is standing firm. And sometimes it is standing firm, quietly.

I came across a wonderful example of this kind of boldness while reading a collection of David Halberstam's sports writing, Everything They Had. He recounts the following conversation between Jackie Robinson and Branch Rickey during their first meeting:

Robinson: "Mr. Rickey, what do you want? Do you want a player with guts enough to fight back?"

Rickey: "I want a player with guts enough not to fight back."

That's a different - and refreshing -take on boldness. Leaders with strong personalities have a tendency to to steam roll over opposition and treat resistance as something to be eliminated. They view resistance as a whack-a-mole game at Chuck E. Cheese.

A more constructive approach is to view resistance as feedback.

While it is rarely stated this explicitly, resistance is actually a call for greater communication.

Those who resist change are doing so out of one or more types of fear: Fear of loss – of job, status, or relationships or fear of the unknown. Leaders need to reframe this resistance as a form of feedback. Resistance is telling the leader that there are concerns, fears, and underlying issues that have not been fully addressed.

A perceptive leader will recognize this as an opportunity to build commitment by proactively seeking to understand and address these issues.

Do you have that kind of boldness?

Do you have "guts enough to not fight back" and reframe resistance as feedback?

Projection

2009-11-11T05:24:00.001-06:00

I don't know about you, but when someone tells me to trust them, a warning sign goes off. When someone says, "Trust me on this," it automatically causes me to wonder about their trustworthiness.

You see, I am a high-trust person and my tendency is to trust people until they give me a reason not to. So when someone tells me to trust them, I am suspect. Why are you having to tell me to trust you?

I have been thinking about this a lot lately.

One explanation for this phenomena may be provided by the pyschological concept of projection. Projection is the tendency to project on to others the same traits we possess, yet deny. Projection occurs when a person's own unacceptable or threatening feelings are repressed and then attributed to someone else.

I have been working my way through a series of studies in the Older Testament. Recently, I came across this description of Jacob:

"Jacob was also hindered by his own bad character. He had been deceitful and treacherous to others, including his own twin brother (whose birth-right he had stolen), and he therefore expected others to treat him in the same manner. Men who are not trustworthy have a very difficult time trusting others - including God, the only One who is truly trustworthy." (MacArthur, The Father of Israel, p. 89).

Trust is a key component of any relationship and it is particularly important in the leader-follower relationship. Think about it: Do you want to follow a leader you don't trust?

So, when a leader begins to demand that we trust them, or to demand our loyalty, I begin to wonder about this idea of projection.

Are you demanding trust and loyalty because you are not trustworthy and loyal?
Are you expecting me to breach trust and become disloyal because you yourself aren't trustworthy and loyal?

Some Call It Leadership

2009-11-10T10:04:00.004-06:00

I don't.

When "leaders" scream and rant at followers...
When "leaders" demand respect, trust and loyalty, yet do not reciprocate...
When "leaders" lord their authority over the people in their organization rather serving them by creating an environment where people can flourish...

That is not leadership!

I understand that respect, trust and loyalty are important ingredients for effective leadership. But, those are gifts that followers give to leaders based on the leader's character.

When a leader is respectable, people will respect her.

When a leader is trustworthy, people will trust him.

When a leader is loyal, their followers will be loyal.

But demanding those responses without first living the character traits that warrant those responses isn't leadership. Demanding these responses without initiating the same attitude toward followers is not leadership. Demanding that these attitudes flow toward the leader is not leadership.

In fact, demanding any response is not leadership.

In his classic, Pulitzer-prize winning book Leadership, James MacGregor Burns makes a sharp distinction between power-wielding and leadership.

Power wielders use the resources of their power bases that are relevant to the attainment of their own purposes. In contrast, Burns defines leadership as a process that takes place in the context of a relationship between leaders and followers. Through this process, leaders induce followers to achieve goals that represent the values, motivations, wants, needs, aspirations and expectations of both leaders and followers. Thus, leadership is viewed as a mutually beneficial relationship. As such, leadership, unlike naked power wielding, is inseparable from followers’ needs and goals. According to Burns, “power wielders may treat people as things, but leaders may not. All leaders are actual or potential power holders, but not all power holders are leaders” (p.18).

I think its high time that we began to take seriously the difference between power-wielding and leadership.

Are you a self-serving power wielder?

Or are you a servant leader?

The Wheels Came Off

2009-10-30T13:33:00.009-05:00

"... you've got a wheel in the ditch and a wheel on the track ..."

My middle daughter Jordan and I enjoy music and our interests overlap - although not completely. We both like Guy Clark and the Rolling Stones. But, I can't go with her on Britney Spears.

One of the things we like to do is pick lines from songs and email them to each other. Its kind of like the old TV show Name That Tune. You have to respond with the next line in the song. I ran that line from Neil Young's Alabama by her the other day. She didn't know the song.

The entire song doesn't fit, but that particular line has been on my mind for about two months. For about two months I have had a wheel in the ditch and a wheel on the track.

I had overloaded myself - again - with too many commitments and eliminated all the margin from my schedule. The signs were everywhere, but I kept ignoring them:

Every horizontal surface in my life has piles of stuff on it: the dryer in the utility room, my nightstand, the window shelf in the kitchen, the bookcase in the den, the tables in the game room.

My car hasn't been washed in a month. Stuff is piled in the back seat and in the trunk.

My reading list which usually has 6-8 books per month will have only 3 this month (unless I can't sleep tonight).

I have not posted a blog entry since October 8.

My workout routine is no longer routine.

"And you may ask yourself: How did I get here?"

(Name that artist and the title of the song for bonus points!)

Well, I got here the same way I always do: one step at a time. Every commitment that I added was a step in a direction. Every additional commitment was a step along the path that leads to the overload of marginless living. And the consequence is emotional exhaustion.

I heard recently that we teach what we most need to learn. There will be several people in my life who read this who have heard me teach on this subject many times. Well, now you know why: I teach others what I most need to learn myself.

I was driving home one day this week talking to Laura on the phone as I did. I passed by a church whose billboard said: "Jesus said, 'No one comes to the Father except by me.'" I read it to Laura as I drove by.

She immediately adopted that as her new rule: "No one come to J.Lee except by me."

I am blessed to have a wife who loves me so much and tries so hard to protect me from myself. I would be even more blessed if I heeded the warning signs and listened to her more diligently.

The way out of this mess is remarkably similar to the way in. One step at a time, I must make decisions that lead me on a different path. I must honor the commitments I made for this season. But, fortunately this season will be ending soon.

Going forward, my goal is to gain greater focus on the areas where I can make the greatest contribution. This will require me to radically eliminate those commitments that are simply not the best use of my time, talent, and emotional energy.

The Leader's Temptations - Part 2

2009-10-08T22:09:00.001-05:00

In his book, In the Name of Jesus, Henri Nouwen uses the temptations faced by Jesus to identify three additional temptations that leaders face.

The first temptation is to be relevant. When Satan confronted Jesus, the first challenge he issued was to turn stones into bread. Leaders are proactive by nature and we always want to make a difference. We are fixers. And we have difficulty admitting that the problem being faced is beyond us or that we haven't seen a situation like this before. Ron Heifetz calls these adaptive challenges.

In these situations, we need to drop our guard and all pretense of of adequacy and offer just ourselves. To do this requires us to be vulnerable, open, and transparent. Only then can we move in along side the people facing the problem and do the adaptive work required to deal with the challenge.

The second temptation is to be spectacular. Satan told Jesus to throw Himself down and let the angels come and save Him. "But Jesus refused to be a stunt man. He did not come to prove Himself. He did not come to walk on hot coals, swallow fire, or put his hand in the lion's mouth in order to prove He had something to say." Its tempting for leaders to want to be the hero, the white knight, in a word - the savior. Our unchecked egos send us down that path. In these tempting moments, we need to remember that leading is not about us. It is not about our reputation. It is about serving others.

The third temptation is to be powerful. Satan's third throwdown was "All this I will give you if you will bow down and worship me." The temptation here is to be in control, to be in charge. Its a need for power on steroids.

I see a theme running through each of these temptations. Its the bent we all have toward ourselves. To counter each of these temptations, we need to remember: "Its not about me."

Our adequacy for leadership is not self-made. Our adequacy has been given to serve others, not to promote self. Yet, we are selfish and self-centered by nature, and we tend to think that our ability and our adequacy for leadership is self-made.

We need to remember the words of Paul in 2 Corinthians 3: 4-6:

"Such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life."

When we are tempted to be relevant, when we are tempted to be spectacular, when we are tempted to be powerful, we lose this perspective. When we lose this perspective, we are on the road to derailment as a leader.

The longer I serve in leadership positions, the more I realize the need to release. I need to release my reputation, release my need to be in charge, release my need to be praised for saving the day. Leadership is about developing others. Leaders prepare others to lead. We cannot do that when we are obsessed with our own reputations or to be in control.

Only when I release my self can I truly serve others.

Step to the Line

2009-09-26T08:15:00.004-05:00

The room was crowded. One side was packed with business executives and MBA students – all suited up. The other side was packed with men – all suited up - in their prison-issued jump suits.
Catherine stood at the front of the room and asked us to stand up and stack the chairs against the wall. When this task was completed, we noticed a blue line running down the middle of the floor.

The rules were: “If the characteristic is true of you, step to the line.”

The first few were easy: If you like ice cream, step to the line. It was crowded at the line as people from both sides stepped up.

When asked if you liked chocolate ice cream, a few stepped back, but the majority remained.

The statements became increasingly more personal, more dramatic.

If you grew up in a broken home … step to the line.

If you were emotionally abused … step to the line.

If you were physically abused … step to the line.

If you have ever abused drugs or alcohol … step to the line.

As we went through this exercise, we came to the dramatic realization that there really wasn't much difference in the people on the other side of the room. We were dressed differently, but when you get beyond those superficial externalities, we had a lot in common.

I also realized that but for the grace of God, I could easily have been on the other side of that line.

This is a scene from a visit to the Cleveland Unit of the Texas prison system that houses the Prison Entrepreneurship Program – PEP.

There’s not much that separates us from those men on the other side of the line. There’s not much that separates the men in that program, in that prison, from those of us on the outside.

This week I spent some time with men who have graduated from the PEP program and have been released from prison. They are starting a new life as productive members of society. Some have started their own business, some have started new jobs. Some still need a job.

There’s not much that separates us. As I spent time with them this week, I noticed one key - and refreshing - distinction: they aren’t putting up any fronts. They aren't masquerading as something they are not. They are honest about their mistakes and shortcomings, and as one of them told me: “I am committed to my change.”

Are you willing to admit your weaknesses? Step to the line.

Are you willing to own your mistakes? Step to the line.

Are you willing to admit your piece of the messes in your life? Step to the line.

Are you willing to drop your guard and be real? Step to the line.

Are you committed to your change?

Step to the line.

Really Real - Discernment Part 2

2009-09-17T01:34:00.002-05:00

Is there a downside to discernment?

In a previous discussion of discernment, I defined discernment as the God-given ability to see what’s really real.

We need discernment because as leaders, we must be willing to be radicals who can see beyond the presenting symptoms and get to the root problem. That’s the original meaning of radical and why I have always embraced that as a worthy label.

But as I think about – and in fact experience God-given discernment – I have discovered there’s a potential downside to discernment that we must guard against. Sometimes, when God pulls back the curtain and allows us to see what’s “really real,” we are tempted to become cynical.

Oh, but we’re really sly about our cynicism. We tell ourselves (and others) that we’re not being cynical, we’re just being realistic! If we’re not careful, this becomes part of a bigger pattern that can derail our credibility and effectiveness as leaders.

In their book, Leadership on the Line, Heifetz and Linsky discuss this as a result of leaders buying into the myth of needing to develop a thick skin.

Certainly we need to be resilient, but if we’re not careful developing a thick skin can “squeeze the juice out of our soul. We lose our capacity for innocence, curiosity, and compassion. In a sense, our hearts close -- our innocence turns into cynicism, our curiosity turns into arrogance, and our compassion turns into callousness. We dress these up, of course, because we don't want to see ourselves -- and certainly don't want others to see us -- as cynical, arrogant and callous. We dress cynicism up as realism. So now we are not cynical; we're realistic. We are not arrogant, but we do have authoritative knowledge. And we dress up and cloak our callousness by calling it the thick skin of wisdom.”

In order to counter this all too human tendency, I always combine my prayer for discernment with a prayer for wisdom. I need God-given discernment to see what’s really real; but I also need God-given wisdom to know how to deal with what He has shown me.

And this requires humility to submit myself to Him and to not strive to use my limited perspective and limited understanding to solve the issues that I am confronted with.

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.” James 1:5

The Leader's Temptatations - Part 1

2009-09-09T18:04:00.001-05:00

Those of us who are committed to living what I call an intensely intentional life are subject to some unique temptations. We experience the euphoria of achievement and the agony of defeat (does the Wide World of Sports Image of the skier's crash come to mind when you read that phrase?).

The temptation in those moments is to think that they are permanent conditions rather than just moments.

Recently I read some wise words on this from J.I. Packer. In his book, A Passion for Faithfulness, he discusses "two impostors" that often plague those of us who are intent on living the intensely intentional life. These impostors share a common characteristic in that they each present themselves as definitive and final.

The first impostor is Triumph. When we experience a significant success - a triumph - we feel that after this nothing else will matter. The second impostor is Disaster. In the moment of a disaster, we feel that this is the end of everything.

Neither of these feelings is real. The moment of triumph will pass and all too soon give way to new challenges, new stressses, and new frustrations. And the disaster is never as devastating as we perceive it to be. In fact, the seeds of growth and renewal often begin to take root in the soil of what we feel is a disaster.

As my friend, and long-time CEO, Zem told me: "The crisis that you think will end it all on Monday will be over by Thursday."

Those of us in leadership bear the responsibility, indeed the burden, of caring for others. And because of this we are likely to feel the ups and downs of leading and living more accutely. We are tempted when we experience a great success to stop striving and simply kick back and coast for a while. After all, we deserve to bask in the glory of our hard-fought success.

When we encounter a set-back, we are often tempted to throw in the towel. (A similar phenomenon occurs for professors when we receive rejection letters from journals: You quit the profession for at least two days!).

Yet, we must realize that despite our feelings and the resulting temptations, neither the euphoria of victory or the dejection of defeats and set-backs are permament conditions. The crisis - or the victory - you experience on Monday will be over by Thursday.

When tempted to coast or when tempted to quit, perhaps we should remember Paul's admonition in Phillipians 3: 13-14:

"Brethren, I do not regard myself as having laid hold of it yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Really Real - Discernment Part 1

2009-09-05T05:41:00.001-05:00

I often ask God to give me discernment so that I can have an accurate assessment of reality. Discernment involves seeing what my philosophy professors called that which is "really real."

Only philosophers would think to distinguish between that which is "real" and that which is "really real"!

As leaders we need to see between the lines and get beneath superficial presentations to understand what's really going on.

J.I. Packer provides an excellent discussion of discernment in his book on Nehemiah, A Passion for Faithfulness.

According to Packer, "discernment may be defined as the ability to see what you are looking at and to assess it by appropriate criteria. Spiritual discernment is a matter of perceiving the qualities, tendencies, and likely sources of proposals and policies that relate to God and His kingdom. Though such discernment may have a basis in natural shrewdness, it comes to fruition only through a sustained attunement to God and a habit of asking oneself at every point in life what makes for His glory. ... Spiritual discernment is a prime need, which nature alone will not supply, and which therefore must be sought from God through godliness as a way and style of life."

Discernment is important for leaders because so often the presenting problem is really just a symptom of something deeper. We need discernment to help us get to the root problem. Think about this in the context of your yard: If you just mow or weed-eat the weeds they will be back next week. What is really needed is to get the weeds out by the roots. Only then can we hope to keep them from recurring.

As leaders I think we need to cultivate the habit of asking the Lord to help us see what's really real so that we can get to the root of the issues we are dealing with. This is difficult for most of us because we have a bias for action, and too often we act before we fully understand. Or, we act based on our understanding.

Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding."

Lord, help me to see with your eyes. Help me to see beneath the surface so that I can get to the root of the problem. Give me your understanding. Don't let me go off half-cocked with my own understanding. Give me discernment.

Selective Exposure

2009-08-24T02:38:00.001-05:00

Early in my teaching career I had the opportunity to teach a course called Human Behavior in Organizations. The title is somewhat misleading because we actually used a Social Psychology textbook. The link between the text and organizational behavior was an easy one, but that link had to be supplied in the lectures and application exercises I integrated into the course.

I enjoyed teaching the course and there are several concepts and models that are so relevant and practical in everyday life. So, this is the first of several posts I will be making on the practical application of concepts from social psychology.

Here's a very interesting concept. It describes something we all do - and probably didn't know it had a name. Here's how it works: I am facing a decision and I am leaning one way as opposed to another? But I know I need to "seek wise counsel," so I decide to ask for some advice. But here's what I do: I choose to ask someone I think will support the direction I'm leaning. And I avoid asking the person who might not support that direction.

Actually this behavior begins very early in life. Our children - and now I have discovered my grandchildren - learn who to ask depending on the issue or desire. "Ask Dad, he always says yes. Don't ask Mom, she never let's us do that."

This is called selective exposure. This is the tendency to seek out information that supports our idea or position and to discount or avoid information that contradicts or opposes our ideas.

We do this a lot with reading books. We tend to read stuff that reinforces our position. And we don't read stuff that might criticize our positions - or expand our perspective. We avoid information that might cause us to see another point of view or another dimension to a complex issue. It reminds me of a statement I heard once - "Don't confuse me with the facts. I have made up my mind."

Recently I observed a very interesting case of selective exposure. There was a discussion concerning the need for leaders to make tough calls on personnel and provide some employees - even long-term employees - the opportunity to "thrive elsewhere."

Interestingly, support for this decision-making process was selected from Jim Collins' idea of getting the right people on the bus and getting the wrong people off the bus. This comes from his book Good to Great. I agree with this principle, and have had to make those tough decisions on numerous occasions.

But there is another principle in that book that was not selected as part of this recent discussion. Collins also discusses what he calls the Level 5 Leader. These leaders are characterized by a "paradoxical blend of professional will and personal humility." They practice what Collins calls "The Window and the Mirror."

According to this principle, when things are going well, the leader looks out the window to see who they can give the credit to. When things aren't going well, the Level 5 Leader looks in the mirror to examine himself and ask: "what do I need to change about my self in order to fix this? What could I have done differently to prevent this? What do I need to differently in the future to keep this from happening again?"

I am sure that you have worked for people who practiced the window and the mirror in the exact opposite way: They take the credit for success (mirror) and seek to blame others for failures (window). The Bohicans were very good at this.

Which brings me back to selective exposure: The recent leadership discussion focused on the "get the right people on the bus" principle. That principle supported the ideas being advanced. But that principle also needs to be balanced with the "window and the mirror." As leaders we need to first examine ourselves by spending some intense time "looking in the mirror" and asking ourselves some tough questions.

Gandhi said "I need to be the change that I want to see in the world." I think that's a good point of beginning for leaders. We need to examine ourselves and make the necessary changes in our own behaviors and attitudes first.

When we have done that, then we can deal with who should or shouldn't be on the bus.

Losing My Religion

2009-08-22T05:44:00.003-05:00

“That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough”

Those of us who are high achievers like to achieve. For us its an end in itself. And because we like to achieve, we don’t like to fail. In fact, if we make less than an A, we’re pretty sure the sun will not come up the next day.

But I seem to be failing – continuously. I keep failing the Litmus Test that so many of my Republican Christian friends have been administering. I just can’t seem to manufacture the venom and hatred that seems to be the defining characteristic of this sub-culture. I have a pretty clear picture of what they’re against. The question remains open as to what they are for.

This usually manifests itself during the presidential elections. However, it seems to have escaped the boundaries of the election campaign. I am very concerned about the attitudes and the statements of so many of my Republican, Christian, friends.

Please take careful note the order of my adjectives …Republican comes before Christian and thus it modifies the adjective that comes after it. And that is the problem!

Too many Christians are filtering their beliefs through their political grid. It should be exactly the opposite. Our politics – indeed every aspect of our entire life - should be filtered through the grid of scripture.

Too many Christians are making the gospel message they are to be proclaiming through their life very unattractive with the constant stream of venom that spews from their mouths.

Tell me: How does that line up with Ephesians 4:29? Check it out (emphasis added):

“Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear.”

Every election year, I see tremendous energy and passion spent in criticizing the candidates and policies they oppose. I always hope to see just half that much energy and passion spent living out the Gospel, obeying the call to spread the gospel as we are going (Read again the Great Commission as a call to all believers. Matthew 28:19-20) or using their spiritual gifts serving one another in the church as we are all called to do.

Jesus said that “They will know you by your love.”

Wow. I wonder what those outside the church know us by?

In his excellent book, The Jesus I Never Knew, Philip Yancey makes this observation:

“Jesus did not say, ‘All men will know you are my disciples … if you just pass laws, suppress immorality, and restore decency to family and government’, but rather, ‘if you love one another.’

The issues that confront Christians in secular society must be faced and addressed and legislated, and a democracy gives Christians every right to express themselves. But we dare not invest so much in the kingdom of this world that we neglect our main task of introducing people to a different kind of kingdom, one based solely on God’s grace and forgiveness… If a century from now all that historians can say about evangelicals of the 1990s (and 2000s) is that they stood for family values, then we will have failed the mission Jesus gave us to accomplish: to communicate God’s reconciling love to sinners. (emphasis added)”

I am not worried about what historians will say, what will the Lord say when we stand before Him?

I keep wondering what difference we could make if we would truly follow Jesus and do as He did when he encountered people whose value systems and lifestyles he didn’t approve of.

Look again at John 4. He treated the woman at the well with dignity and respect…and introduced her to the Living Water that changed her from the inside out.

I keep wondering what would happen if we, the Church, would reclaim the territory that we abandoned and begin to take care of the poor, the widowed, and the orphans rather than abdicating that responsibility to the government.

If we are really concerned about the moral decay of our society, we should spend our energy sharing with others the only source of authentic and lasting life change: Jesus Christ. When we come to Him, He begins a transformation process that moves from the inside out.

And I am confident of this very thing: He who begins this good work will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6).

I am continually reminded of the practical atheism in our lives (mine included). We claim to know the Lord, yet we live, talk, and make decisions as if we didn’t. We proclaim the sovereignty of God, yet complain when election outcomes and legislative agendas don’t align with our wishes.

Rather than wringing our hands about the outcome of elections or the latest legislative action, I think its time to get to work on the task we are called to do.

Rather than spending our energy on temporal issues, let’s focus on the eternal impact we can have by sharing the good news of Jesus Christ. He came to reconcile sinners to God…and He has given us the ministry of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18-20).

Let’s get on with it!

“That's me in the corner
That's me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I've said too much
I haven't said enough”

R.E.M. “Losing My Religion”